July 24, 2024 by Emily Mendelson
Recently on the blog we’ve been answering a few listener and reader questions, including topics such as how to navigate sex when one partner is paralyzed and how body modifications have been historically linked to queer signaling. For today’s blog, we’re going to respond to someone who wrote in with a question about sexual fantasies,...
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July 10, 2024 by Zoe Moscovici
Today, we’re going to dive in and answer a question that a listener sent in about queer signaling. They asked: “I watched a sitcom the other day (Two and a...
Kink & BDSM, LGBTQIA+, Sex Q&A
August 30, 2023 by Emily Mendelson
Some individuals who frequent kink and BDSM spaces have observed that they meet more individuals who are neurodivergent than in other social settings. So is there truly a correlation between...
Kink & BDSM, Psychology
February 2, 2023 by Emily Mendelson
OnlyFans is a digital patronage platform with over two million independent sex workers and a user base of 170 million registered accounts. Given the speed at which OnlyFans use gained...
Kink & BDSM, Media & Culture, Sex Ed
August 3, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller
BDSM (which stands for bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism) is one of the most popular sexual fantasies. It’s also a relatively common sexual behavior, with nationally representative US surveys finding that as many...
Kink & BDSM
November 8, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller
When you fantasize about sex, do you ever imagine your partner(s) wearing a specific uniform? If so, you’re not alone. In the survey of 4,175 Americans I conducted for my...
Fantasies, Kink & BDSM
September 22, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller
“I felt disgusted, but also very satisfied.” I just heard this line on an NPR podcast that had absolutely nothing to do with sex—but it really got me thinking because...
Kink & BDSM, Psychology
August 16, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller
BDSM (which stands for bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism) is one of the most popular sexual fantasies and a significant number of people report having engaged in BDSM acts before. Interest in BDSM appears...
Fantasies, Kink & BDSM
August 4, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller
Somnophilia refers to a sexual interest in which someone is turned on by the idea of having sex with a person who is sleeping—or being asleep and receiving sexual attention...
Fantasies, Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed
July 21, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller
Some people are turned on by the idea of having sex with a partner who is sleeping—or being asleep and receiving sexual attention from someone else. This sexual interest is...
Fantasies, Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed
April 5, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller
In the last couple of years, I seem to have become the go-to person for journalists and sex therapists who want to know how common a given sexual fantasy is....
Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed
March 17, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller
Most of the time that you see BDSM discussed or mentioned in the popular media, it is referenced as a sexual activity. In other words, it’s largely seen as something...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed
February 24, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller
Earlier this week, I wrote an article about how infectious organisms transmitted through sex can potentially alter the sexual behavior patterns of the host. By encouraging the host to engage...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed
September 25, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
A reader asked:“How common are vorarephilia fantasies?”For those who aren’t familiar, vorarephilia (also known as vore for short) refers to a sexual interest that revolves around consuming or being consumed...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Q&A
September 23, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
“Pup play” is a form of sexual roleplay in which an adult human adopts the appearance and characteristics of a dog. This may include dressing up like a dog (wearing...
Kink & BDSM, Videos
August 7, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
Sadism and masochism involve deriving pleasure from the experience of giving and receiving pain, respectively. This can take a number of forms, from spanking to whipping to flogging and beyond...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed
July 27, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
Bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM) is one of the most popular sexual fantasies and a significant number of people report having engaged in BDSM acts before.So why is it such...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed
July 10, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
A reader asked the following question:“I hear the terms kink and fetish being used in a pretty interchangeable way most of the time. However, I feel like they are two...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Q&A
January 31, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
A reader recently wrote to ask me a question about their biggest sexual fantasy. He said:“I have always had a sexual fantasy about getting shrunken down and eaten by a...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Q&A
January 20, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
Psychologists and psychiatrists typically use the term paraphilia to refer to unusual or uncommon sexual interests or activities. Hundreds of desires have been described as paraphilias over the years, although there are currently...
Kink & BDSM
January 17, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
Each year, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission updates its database on “consumer product-related injuries” that occur in the United States. It’s a public health tool that tracks emergency room...
Kink & BDSM
January 13, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
In the late 1980s, British police launched a massive investigation into men who were participating in sadomasochistic acts with other men in the United Kingdom. Known as Operation Spanner, the...
Kink & BDSM
July 29, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller
BDSM has long been deemed a paraphilia—meaning an unusual sexual interest—by psychologists and psychiatrists. The classification of BDSM as a paraphilia implies that it’s likely to be a pretty rare...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed
June 17, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller
Sexual sadists are people who derive arousal from inflicting pain on others. This could be physical pain, such as hitting someone else, or it could be psychological pain, such as...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed, Sex Q&A
May 13, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller
What does it say about you if you’re into kinky or BDSM sex? Is it a serious leisure activity, or is it an innate aspect of your sexuality? Could the...
Kink & BDSM, LGBTQIA+, Sex Ed
April 10, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller
People have been making obscene telephone calls for almost as long as the telephone has been in existence. In recent years, however, they have begun to change form, as digital...
Kink & BDSM
February 6, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller
Feederism has been described as "a fat fetish focused on erotic eating, feeding, and gaining weight" [1]. There are two types of people who exist within this fetish culture: feeders...
Kink & BDSM
February 4, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller
The mental health community has long been interested in developing treatments for persons who are attracted to prepubescent children with the goal of preventing sexual offenses. In fact, if you...
Kink & BDSM
October 1, 2018 by Justin Lehmiller
Psychologists and psychiatrists use the term paraphilia to refer to unusual sexual interests. In other words, a paraphilia represents a desire for an uncommon sexual object or activity. Hundreds of...
Gender, Kink & BDSM
July 25, 2018 by Justin Lehmiller
People who are sexually attracted to animals are often referred to as "zoophiles" in the psychological literature. Zoophilia is something that has long been considered a paraphilia, meaning an uncommon...
Kink & BDSM
March 14, 2018 by Justin Lehmiller
Incest, usually defined as sex between close blood relatives, is one of the most pervasive sexual taboos across cultures. Many different theories have been advanced to explain this taboo, but...
Kink & BDSM, Videos
October 16, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller
People can develop sexual fetishes for virtually anything. For example, some people are turned on by feeding others or watching them eat, others are turned on by drinking or coming...
Kink & BDSM
September 29, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller
Fetishes are sexual desires that hinge upon specific objects (like boots or panties), non-sexual body parts (like feet or armpits), or bodily fluids (like urine or breast milk). Though many...
Kink & BDSM, Videos
July 26, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller
Psychologists and psychiatrists use the term paraphilia to refer to an unusual sexual interest. More specifically, paraphilias are recurrent desires for uncommon sexual objects or activities. Although hundreds of desires...
Kink & BDSM
July 14, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller
Paraphilia is the term psychologists and psychiatrists use to refer to any unusual sexual interest. It’s important to note that an unusual interest is not necessarily harmful and it's not...
Kink & BDSM
July 7, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller
Paraphilia is a very general term used by psychologists to refer to any kind of unusual sexual interest. The number of desires that have been deemed paraphilic has grown substantially...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed
March 20, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller
People can develop fetishes for virtually anything. Most commonly, though, we're talking about a specific body part (like feet or toes) or an object associated with the body (like boots,...
Kink & BDSM
January 27, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller
For the last two weeks, I’ve been inundated with both reader questions and requests for media interviews on a topic I’ve rarely been asked about before: urophilia, which refers to...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Q&A
November 18, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller
Financial domination (or findom, as it's known for short) is an uncommon sexual interest in which people--usually men--find it arousing to be "forced" to give their money to a dominant...
Kink & BDSM, Videos
September 2, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller
Psychologists use the term paraphilia to refer a wide range of unusual sexual interests, including—but not limited to—exhibitionism, voyeurism, sadism, masochism, and fetishism. Because sexual desires and behaviors that fall...
Kink & BDSM
June 15, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller
In this TEDx talk, forensic psychologist Luke Broomhall explores the importance of thinking differently about how to prevent child sexual abuse. In the United States and many other countries around...
Kink & BDSM, Videos
February 21, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller
Scientists and physicians have documented a number of fascinating sexual curiosities over the years, such as people who experience orgasms originating in their feet and men who are allergic to...
Kink & BDSM
January 20, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller
Sigmund Freud once argued that human beings are "polymorphously perverse," meaning that we have the potential to develop a sexual interest in virtually anything. Yes, we all know that Freud...
Kink & BDSM
August 21, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller
In my line of work, I’m always learning about new and unusual sexual desires. One of the most intriguing ones I have ever come across is vorarephilia, which has been...
Kink & BDSM
July 29, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller
Feederism has been described as "a fat fetish focused on erotic eating, feeding, and gaining weight." There are two basic types of people who exist in this fetish culture: feeders...
Kink & BDSM, Videos
June 20, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller
BDSM (which stands for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism) is a widely misunderstood set of sexual practices. There are a lot of myths and stereotypes out there about...
Kink & BDSM, Myth vs Fact
May 27, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller
Twenty years ago today, one of the most unusual and fascinating studies of animal sex I have ever come across took place. It was an observational study of the world’s...
Kink & BDSM
May 27, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller
Sexual fetishes consist of recurring sexual fantasies, urges, and/or behaviors that center around nonliving objects, body parts, and secretions. People can develop fetishes for a wide range of things, including...
Kink & BDSM
March 13, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller
As discussed before on this site, Fifty Shades of Grey doesn’t offer the most accurate or realistic depiction of BDSM sex. Other popular media portrayals of it aren’t necessarily any...
Kink & BDSM
March 6, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller
A reader submitted the following question: “I wanted to inquire into a ‘strange’ fetish where the man likes his woman to convince him he has undersized manhood. ‘Small penis humiliation’...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Q&A
February 6, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller
This Valentine’s Day weekend, a lot of couples will be heading out for dinner and a movie—and for many of them, their film of choice is likely to be the...
Kink & BDSM, Media & Culture
January 16, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller
Psychologists have discovered that people can develop sexual fetishes for a wide range of objects, with some of the most common being articles of clothing, including underwear, lingerie, and stockings...
Kink & BDSM
November 12, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller
Sexual fantasies about bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism (BDSM) have long been deemed to be "unusual" or "deviant." But are they really all that rare? A new study...
Kink & BDSM
September 25, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller
Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a reader who was curious about the origin of sexual fetishes:“Are...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Q&A
July 10, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller
In a recent survey, I asked readers of this site to describe the most unusual thing they have ever seen that caused them to become sexually aroused. My reason for...
Kink & BDSM
May 18, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller
In my last article, I discussed the prevalence of sexual sadism and masochism based upon results from the latest Reader Survey. This survey revealed that 50% of readers reported experiences...
Kink & BDSM
May 18, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller
Results from the latest Reader Survey are in and, as usual, they’re absolutely fascinating! The most recent survey inquired about experiences with what have traditionally been considered paraphilic behaviors (i.e.,...
Kink & BDSM
April 2, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller
The term “paraphilia” literally means “beyond typical love.” As a result, it has become the word of choice among psychologists to describe a wide range of unusual sexual interests. However,...
Gender, Kink & BDSM
February 12, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller
How attractive do you find the prospect of sex with animals? Do you think it would be fun to watch another person urinate? Do you find shoes erotic? If you’re...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Ed
January 17, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller
Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a reader who wanted to know more about voyeurism.What can you...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Q&A
January 3, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller
Research has found that feet are by far the most common fetish object, a pattern of behavior known scientifically as podophilia. However, outside of clinical settings, relatively little is known...
Kink & BDSM
November 4, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller
What’s the first word that comes to your mind when you hear the word “fetish?” For many of you, that word is probably “foot,” or perhaps something that is worn...
Kink & BDSM
October 7, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller
Death can come any time, any place…even in the bedroom. It’s rare, but people sometime die during sexual activity, including both masturbation and partnered sex. Most research on this topic...
Kink & BDSM
August 21, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller
Paraphilia is the term that psychologists use to refer to an unusual sexual interest. Psychologists have documented hundreds of paraphilias over the years, including fetishism, sadomasochism, exhibitionism, and voyeurism. Paraphilias...
Kink & BDSM
August 14, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller
Sigmund Freud famously argued that human beings are "polymorphously perverse," meaning that we have the ability to develop sexual interest in virtually anything. Although Freud was wrong about a lot...
Kink & BDSM
June 10, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the “bible” that psychiatrists and psychologists in the United States use for diagnosing mental health problems. Just a few days...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Tips
May 20, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller
The buzz on the Internet last week was the story of a Swedish man who supposedly died after having sex with a hornets’ nest. According to various media reports, the...
Kink & BDSM
April 3, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller
A fascinating case study entitled “Penile Incarceration Secondary to Masturbation with a Steel Pipe” was recently published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. Based on the title alone, I knew...
Kink & BDSM
March 6, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller
Everyone knows that penis size is one of men’s biggest concerns and that some men will do almost anything to try and increase the length and girth of their member,...
Kink & BDSM
February 27, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller
Although displaying your genitals in public is illegal in many parts of the world, a huge number of people have done it at one time or another. Countless men and...
Kink & BDSM
December 28, 2012 by Justin Lehmiller
Given the popularity of Twilight, True Blood, and all of the other vampire books and films out there, it would appear that a large segment of the population is intrigued...
Kink & BDSM
December 3, 2012 by Justin Lehmiller
Contrary to popular belief, zoophilia does not mean a love of going to the zoo; rather, it refers to a true love of animals. And I mean love as in...
Kink & BDSM
July 6, 2012 by Justin Lehmiller
Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a college student who wanted to know why her boyfriend starts...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Q&A
June 27, 2012 by Justin Lehmiller
As discussed in previous blog posts, a number of unusual sexual behaviors have been documented in human beings, from cutting a hole in one’s pants in order to masturbate easily...
Kink & BDSM, Potpourri
May 7, 2012 by Justin Lehmiller
Paraphilias are one of the most fascinating topics in the field of human sexuality. In case you are not familiar with the term paraphilia, it refers to any unusual form...
Kink & BDSM, Potpourri
April 27, 2012 by Justin Lehmiller
Every Friday on the blog, I answer sex questions submitted to me by actual college students. This week, we’re talking about fetishes. Fetishes refer to cases where an individual’s sexual...
Kink & BDSM, Sex Q&A
