Speaking Your Partner’s “Love Language” Might Give Your Sex Life a Boost

February 15, 2023 by Emily Mendelson

The five “love languages”—words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, quality time, and physical touch—are meant to help individuals identify how they prefer to both give and receive love....

Dating & Relationships, Sex Tips

Happy New Year! Science-Backed Resolutions for Better Sex in 2023

January 2, 2023 by Justin Lehmiller

The start of each new year is a common time for people to make resolutions for self-improvement. And it may very well be that more people than usual are making...

Sex Tips

Gen Z is Missing Out on the Benefits of Sex

September 21, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

Generally speaking, sexual activity is good for our mental health. Sex (however you like to do it) has the potential to enhance our psychological well-being, as well as the connection...

Dating & Relationships, Media & Culture, Sex Tips

How Advances in Sex Toy Technology Can Enhance Men’s Sexual Performance

May 23, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

**Note: This post is sponsored by The Handy More than 4 in 10 men report having experienced at least one sexual difficulty in the past year. Experiencing difficulties during sex...

Potpourri, Sex Tips

Sexual Compatibility Takes Work To Maintain

April 11, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

One reason some partners have sex early on in a relationship is because they want to know whether they’re sexually compatible. Sex is an important part of most (but not...

Sex Tips

Why We Struggle With Sexual Initiation, and How to Fix It

January 24, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

Sexual initiation is something that seems challenging to navigate for many people. Over the years, I’ve heard from a lot of readers who want tips on initiation, with some saying...

Fantasies, Sex Tips

Genital Fit: The Conversation We Should Be Having About Genital Size

January 17, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

There’s an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm in which an argument takes place over whether a woman has a “big vagina” or her ex-partner has a “small penis.” While this...

Sex Ed, Sex Tips

Happy New Year! Science-Backed Resolutions For Better Sex In 2022

January 3, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

Each time a new year rolls around, a lot of us start making resolutions for self-improvement. I suspect more people than usual might be making New Year’s resolutions right now...

Sex Tips

How The Pandemic Has Affected Interest In Threesomes And Sex Parties

September 29, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller

The COVID-19 pandemic has affected our sexual interests and behaviors in many ways, which I’ve covered extensively on the blog (see here for a recap). But something that hasn’t really been explored...

Potpourri, Sex Tips

What To Do When You And Your Partner Want Different Amounts Of Sex

September 20, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller

In long-term relationships, partners’ sex drives are bound to get out of sync from time to time. That’s normal and not a cause for concern unless it becomes a persistent...

Dating & Relationships, Sex Tips

4 Ways Men Say Couple’s Vibrators Improved Their Sex Lives

August 23, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller

When vibrators are mentioned in pop culture, they’re usually discussed as masturbation aides—something people (particularly women) use to pleasure themselves. You don’t typically see people whipping them out during couple’s...

Dating & Relationships, Sex Tips

Why Establishing Sexual Compatibility Isn’t A One-Time Thing

April 28, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller

One reason that many couples have sex early on in a relationship—and well before the prospect of marriage might ever come to mind—is because they want to know whether they’re...

Sex Tips

6 Tips For Dealing With Sexual Difficulties

January 27, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller

As a sex educator, I receive questions almost every day from people who are facing some type of difficulty in their sex life and don’t know what to do about...

Sex Tips

Want More Pleasure in Your Sex Life? There’s an Online Course for That

June 29, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller

One topic that is conspicuously absent in most sexuality education courses is pleasure [1]. Most of us only ever learn about the potential risks associated with sex and how to...

Sex Tips

How Sex Toys Can Help Men Improve Their Sexual Performance

June 26, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex toys have never been more popular than they are right now. Sales have been steadily increasing for years, but they really surged during lockdown and quarantine.Despite their growing popularity,...

Sex Tips

I’m a Cisgender Woman and My Husband Watches Trans Porn: Does That Mean He’s Not Into Me?

April 24, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller

A reader submitted the following question:“I recently discovered that my husband is attracted to transsexuals (MTF - non op). This is the only type of porn that he looks at....

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

5 Secrets to Increase Your Sexual Satisfaction: Tips From a Sex Therapist

April 13, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller

As a practicing sex therapist, I often see two partners legitimately trying to bridge a satisfaction gap between each other, but they can’t seem to get the moves just right....

Sex Tips

Doing Your Kegel Exercises Just Got A Lot More Fun

January 24, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller

Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles through Kegel exercises is a well-established way of giving your sex life a boost. Indeed, study after study has found that these exercises offer a...

Sex Tips

One Person’s Sexual Problem is Another Person’s Erotic Desire

October 23, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller

What counts as a sexual “problem?” It depends who you ask. For example, consider the phenomenon often referred to as “premature ejaculation” among men. What I’m talking about here are...

Sex Tips

How the Sexual Effects of Alcohol, Marijuana, and Molly Compare

October 21, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller

Alcohol, marijuana, and ecstasy/MDMA/Molly are among the most popular substances people use to enhance their sexual experiences. But when it comes to their effects, how similar or different are these...

Sex Ed, Sex Tips

Why Sex Should Be About Having Fun Instead of Achieving Goals

August 26, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller

A lot of people approach sex in a goal-oriented fashion, thinking that there are certain things they need to do or “achieve” every time. High on this list is the...

Sex Tips

Penis Enlargement Surgery Is Risky–And There’s Little Evidence That It Works

May 22, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller

Penis size is a common body concern among men. While most guys report being satisfied with the size of their genitals, a sizable minority say they’re unhappy. For example, in...

Myth vs Fact, Sex Tips

Exercise Can Help Prevent and Treat Erectile Dysfunction

February 8, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller

Erectile dysfunction or ED is one of the most common sexual difficulties experienced by men. As with most sexual difficulties, there are numerous potential causes, including some that are biological,...

Sex Tips

Orgasms Trigger Migraine Headaches in Some, But Cure Them in Others

September 19, 2018 by Justin Lehmiller

We’ve long known that there’s a link between sex and headaches. In fact, we can trace this all the way back to Hippocrates, who is thought to be the first...

Sex Ed, Sex Tips

From Oysters to Chocolate to Ginseng: Aphrodisiacs that Do and Don’t Work, According to Science

September 14, 2018 by Justin Lehmiller

People have been searching for tools to enhance their sex lives for centuries. Historically, and even today, they have looked to various herbs and foods in the hope of finding...

Myth vs Fact, Sex Tips

Is Erectile Dysfunction Really on the Rise in Young Men?

April 27, 2018 by Justin Lehmiller

In the popular media, it’s easy to find claims of a rising “epidemic” of erectile dysfunction in young men. For example, this article argues that the rate of ED in...

Myth vs Fact, Sex Tips

Better Sex Through Mindfulness: An Interview With Dr. Lori Brotto (VIDEO)

April 23, 2018 by Justin Lehmiller

Difficulties with sexual desire and arousal are common, especially among women—and they’re notoriously difficult to treat with medications alone. However, the good news is that these problems are responsive to...

Interviews, Sex Tips, Videos

A Sex Therapist On Overcoming Male Sexual Performance Anxiety (Video)

March 21, 2018 by Justin Lehmiller

One of the most popular stereotypes of male sexuality is that men want sex all of the time because they're just "wired" that way. In other words, sex is seen...

Sex Tips, Videos

Some People Get Sick Every Time They Orgasm. It’s Called Post-Orgasmic Illness Syndrome

December 18, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller

Most people think of orgasms as a positive experience—one they look forward to repeating time and again. However, this isn’t true for people who experience something known as post-orgasmic illness...

Sex Tips

Why Kegel Exercises Are Good For Both Women And Men

October 18, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller

Kegel exercises have been around for a long time. First described by Dr. Arnold Kegel back in the 1940s, they were originally developed as a way to help women experiencing...

Sex Tips

Yes, You Can Break Your Penis. And This Is The Most Common Way It Happens

October 13, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller

While erections are sometimes referred to as “boners,” the truth of the matter is that there aren't actually any bones in the human penis. Some animals do have penile bones,...

Sex Tips

When Your Sex Drives Get Out Of Sync: Dealing With A Sexual Desire Discrepancy

August 28, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller

Over the years, I’ve received countless emails from readers saying things along the lines of, “He says I don't want it enough. I think he wants it too much. What...

Sex Tips

Does Circumcision Affect Men’s Odds of Having Premature Ejaculation?

July 19, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller

A reader asked the following question:“Are circumcised men less likely to have premature ejaculation?”People have long been curious about what effects circumcision (or removal of the penile foreskin) has on...

Sex Tips

Yes, Botox For Your Butt Is A Thing—But, No, It Doesn’t Cost $25,000

June 23, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller

For the last two days, articles about “anal Botox” have been blowing up my Facebook and Twitter feeds, with most of the headlines (like this one from Cosmo) saying something...

Myth vs Fact, Sex Tips

The Doctor Who Gave Men Goat Testicle Implants To Cure Impotence

December 2, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller

Before Viagra and penile implants, impotent men didn't have a lot of great options for treating their erectile difficulties. In fact, almost all of the early "treatments" for ED were...

Sex Tips, Videos

Video: Sexuality and Disability

June 1, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex surrogates are people who help clients deal with sexual difficulties by engaging in direct sexual activity with them. In addition, surrogates often help persons with physical disabilities more generally—many...

Sex Tips, Videos

Boxers or Briefs? How Men’s Underwear and Lifestyle Impact Sperm Health

April 6, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller

It’s not uncommon for guys to experience fertility problems—even guys who are in the prime of their lives. In fact, some health organizations have claimed that as many as 1...

Myth vs Fact, Sex Tips

The Newest Treatment For Premature Ejaculation Might Be Botox

March 18, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller

Botox is well known for its ability to reduce the appearance of facial wrinkles; however, it has a surprising number of medical applications beyond this. In fact, physicians have used...

Sex Tips

Sex Question Friday: Can Women Experience Premature Orgasm Too?

February 14, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller

A reader submitted the following question:"Is premature ejaculation something that only happens to men? Can a woman climax too quickly too?"Thanks for this very interesting question. Male premature orgasm, which...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

The Danger of the Orgasmic Imperative

January 7, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller

Many people are under the impression that all of us are “supposed” to reach orgasm each and every time we have sex. Indeed, when an orgasm does not occur, some...

Sex Tips

Why Doctors Need Better Education About the HPV Vaccine, Too

October 23, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

The human papillomavirus (HPV) is a sexually transmitted infection that has the potential to cause a wide range of cancers, including cancers of the cervix, anus, and throat. A vaccine...

Sex Tips

Condoms Aren’t Always To Blame When Guys Claim That Rubbers Cause Erection Problems

September 11, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

Among the many reasons reported by men for not using condoms consistently is that they can’t “keep it up” when they’re wearing a rubber. In other words, some guys stay...

Safe Sex, Sex Tips

How To Last Longer In Bed (Infographic)

August 24, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

It is not uncommon for men to experience sexual difficulties. In fact, national surveys have found that nearly half of male participants report having had at least one sexual problem...

Sex Tips

Penile Dysmorphic Disorder: When Penis Size Concerns Get Out Of Control

August 24, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

The penis tends to be the most common part of the body that men are dissatisfied with and wish they could change. Consider this: one online survey of over 25,000...

Sex Tips

Foot Orgasm Syndrome: She Experienced 5-6 Orgasms A Day Originating In Her Left Foot

July 30, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

Sexologists have long recognized that a link exists between feet and orgasm, but I'm not talking about foot fetishes here. What I am referring to is the fact that, upon...

Sex Tips

“He Says I Don’t Want It Enough. I Think He Wants It Too Much.” Dealing With A Sexual Desire Discrepancy

July 23, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

A reader submitted the following question:"Is there such a thing as wanting too much sex? He says I don't want it enough. I think he wants it too much. He...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

What You Need to Know About Flibanserin, The So-Called “Female Viagra”

July 19, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

Flibanserin, a drug some of you probably know more commonly as "female Viagra" or "pink Viagra," has been in the news a lot lately. This is a drug that is...

Media & Culture, Sex Tips, Videos

Kegel Exercises Offer Sexual Benefits To Both Women And Men

June 22, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

Kegel exercises have been around for more than a half century. In fact, they were first described by Dr. Arnold Kegel back in the 1940s. Although they were initially developed...

Sex Tips

A Painful Clitoral Erection That Last For Days? It Happens To Some Women

May 15, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

If you have ever seen a commercial for Viagra or any other erectile dysfunction drug, you've probably heard the advertiser warn male users to seek medical attention if they develop...

Sex Tips

More Evidence That Pornography Use Is Not A General Risk Factor For Erectile Dysfunction

April 10, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

Many in the popular media have argued that the increased availability of online pornography is contributing to an earlier onset of erectile difficulties in men. However, scientific research has not...

Sex Ed, Sex Tips

Study: Men Who Exercise More Report Better Erectile Function

April 3, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is one of the most common sexual difficulties reported by men. It is a complex problem that can be caused by numerous factors, including some that are...

Sex Tips

Are Childhood Attachment Issues A Precursor To Erectile Dysfunction In Adulthood?

January 23, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is one of the most common sexual difficulties in men. Because the prevalence of it increases so much with age, ED is a sexual problem that most...

Sex Tips

The Power Of Touch: The Crucial Role Of Physical Intimacy In Relationships

September 11, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller

One of the keys to a healthy, long-term relationship is maintaining physical intimacy. I’m not just talking about sex, though—for many reasons, non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important. For...

Sex Tips

Sex Question Friday: I Want More Sex Than My Husband. What Should I Do?

July 25, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller

Every Friday on the blog, I answer people's questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week's question comes from a female reader who isn't satisfied with the amount and type...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

Why The New Diagnostic Guidelines For Premature Ejaculation Are A Step Backwards

June 19, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller

What exactly does it mean for a man to ejaculate “prematurely?” This has been a topic of considerable scientific debate for quite some time, with many arguing that the current...

Sex Tips

Men’s Most Common Sexual Problems (Infographic)

June 12, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller

Sexual difficulties are incredibly common. In fact, data from nationally representative surveys suggests that nearly half of men and women report having experienced at least one sexual problem in the...

Sex Tips

Can Botox Be Used To Treat Premature Ejaculation?

June 4, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller

Botox is most well known for its ability to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles on the face; however, it actually has a surprising number of medical applications....

Sex Tips

Women’s Most Common Sexual Problems (Infographic)

June 4, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller

Sexual functioning plays a huge role not only in terms of how we feel about ourselves, but also how we feel about our relationships. Despite its great importance to everyday...

Sex Tips

Sex Question Friday: Can A Man Be Allergic To His Own Semen?

March 14, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller

Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. A few weeks ago, I answered a question from a reader about whether it is possible...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

Sex Question Friday: Are Some Women Really Allergic To Semen?

February 21, 2014 by Justin Lehmiller

Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a reader who wanted to know the following:“I saw a talk...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

What Does A Woman’s Body Image Say About Her Sex Life?

September 30, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

Sexual difficulties are common. National survey data have found that as many as 43% of women and 31% of men in the United States report some type of sexual dysfunction,...

Sex Ed, Sex Tips

Sex Question Friday: I Can’t Seem To Orgasm. What Should I Do?

July 26, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a female reader who can’t reach orgasm in any sexual situation...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

Sex Question Friday: Should You Expect Your Partner To Orgasm During Sex?

July 12, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a reader who wanted to know whether it is reasonable to...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

How Can I Last Longer In Bed?

July 1, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problems reported by men. In fact, about one-third of men aged 18-59 report that they often climax before they would like...

Sex Tips

What The DSM-5 Means For The Diagnosis And Treatment Of Sexual Issues

June 10, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the “bible” that psychiatrists and psychologists in the United States use for diagnosing mental health problems. Just a few days...

Kink & BDSM, Sex Tips

Is The Origami Condom The Future Of Safe And Pleasurable Sex?

May 22, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

"We have a product that is safe and effective, but underutilized. What if we could develop a condom that would provide all the benefit of our current versions, without the...

Potpourri, Sex Tips

Does Penis Enlargement Surgery Really Work?

May 6, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

One of the most common concerns men have about their bodies is the size of their penis. Research indicates that 35% of gay men1 and 45% of heterosexual men2 say...

Sex Tips

Sexual Desire Discrepancies Are A Relationship Problem, Not A Gender Problem

May 1, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

A recent piece in the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) entitled “How often should married couples have sex? What happens when he says ‘more’ and she says ‘no?” caused quite a...

Media & Culture, Sex Tips

Is It Possible To “Fracture” An Erection?

January 30, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

Despite the fact that erections are often referred to as “boners,” there are no actual bones in the human penis. Of course, some animals have penile bones, including walruses, which...

Myth vs Fact, Sex Tips

Sex Question Friday: How Long Can You Go Without Wanting Sex?

January 25, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a reader who wanted to know: How long can a person...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

Fact Check: Do Skinny Jeans And “Excessive” Masturbation Cause Erectile Dysfunction?

January 23, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

In a recent online survey, a sample of 1,500 men were asked to identify the most common causes of erectile dysfunction (ED). Results indicated that 1 out of 3 guys...

Myth vs Fact, Sex Tips

Sex Question Friday: I Have A Higher Sex Drive Than My Boyfriend. What Can I Do?

January 11, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller

Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a female reader who is frustrated by the fact that she...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

Sex Question Friday: How Long Should Sex Last And How Do You Treat Premature Ejaculation?

August 3, 2012 by Justin Lehmiller

Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question is a two-parter that comes from a male college student who was concerned...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

Sex Question Friday: Do STDs Affect Women’s Ability To Reach Orgasm?

June 29, 2012 by Justin Lehmiller

Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a college student who wanted to know whether having a sexually...

Sex Q&A, Sex Tips

Women Can Orgasm Prematurely, Too

January 23, 2012 by Justin Lehmiller

Premature ejaculation is the most commonly reported sexual difficulty among men. In fact, more than one in five guys reaches orgasm before they (or their partners) would like [1]. Although...

Sex Tips