Relationships are hard. But they can be especially hard when you or a partner are dealing with depression. In this episode, we're going to explore how mental health issues like depression can pose unique relationship challenges, but also consider practical tips and tools for overcoming them, including how to be a supportive partner when you're with someone who is depressed. I am joined once again by JoEllen Notte, a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken on her award-winning site, The Redhead Bedhead. JoEllen is the author of The Monster Under The Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having as well as the upcoming book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family. Some of the topics we discuss include: 

• How to take care of your mental health while dating.
• When to disclose a mental health condition to a partner.
• How depression can impact marriages and other long-term relationships.
• How to know when being unhappy is a mental health issue vs. a relationship issue.
• What people can do to be supportive of a partner with depression.
• Suggestions for navigating a breakup while managing depression or anxiety.

Learn more about JoEllen at redheadbedhead.com. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2302-lehmiller  Enhance your pleasure with OMGYES! OMGYES provides super-honest videos, animations, and how-to's based on the largest research study into women's pleasure, done in partnership with the Kinsey Institute. Get 33% by visiting OMGYES.com/justin. Clinicians and therapists can get a free personal membership by visiting OMGYES.com/doctors.  ***

As a sex educator, one of the most common questions I get from parents is when and how to talk to their kids about sex. When should these conversations begin? And what do you need to know to successfully navigate them? Let's talk about "the talk!" In this show, we're going to explore tips on how to normalize conversations about sex, sexuality, and relationships with your kids and give them the resources and skills they need to make healthy decisions and to lead happy and fulfilling intimate lives. I am joined by Dr. Lanae St.John, also known as The MamaSutra. She is a board-certified sexologist, certified sex coach, and former professor of human sexuality. Lanae is also the author of Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk." She has first-hand knowledge about how to navigate issues of sexuality as a parent, and uses that experience to help her clients. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How do you make conversations about sex comfortable instead of awkward?
• As a parent, how can you model healthy communication for your kids?
• What are some ways parents can teach basic consent principles to their children?
• What are some things parents can do to help their kids cultivate healthy body image?
• Pleasure is one of the primary reasons people have sex, but it is rarely taught in sex ed. What should be addressed when talking about pleasure?
• What do you need to know when it comes to talking to kids about porn?

Check it out! To learn more about Lanae, visit her website "The Mamastura," and follow her on Instagram @themamasutra. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2301-lehmiller "Ring" in the New Year with FirmTech! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

What can you do to build stronger and healthier relationships in the New Year with everyone in your life? Let's talk about it! In today's episode, we're going to discuss a wide range of relationships, starting with friendships, including how you can have an easier time both making and maintaining friends. We’re also going to talk about tips for starting new romantic connections (including how to get better at online dating), tips for strengthening romantic relationships new and old, as well as what you need to know about building a healthier relationship with yourself. I am joined once again by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, sex, and sexuality. In addition to running a private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known expert in this area whose work has appeared all over in the media. This is the second episode in a two-part series on sex and relationship resolutions, so be sure to check out the first part of our conversation if you haven't already listened yet. Some of the topics we discuss today include:

• What are some new ways of making friends in the coming year?
• How can you maintain strong friendships without causing friction with your romantic partner?
• What can we do to become better online daters this year?
• What kind of communication skills do you need to cultivate in order to help your relationship thrive in the long term?
• For people in long-term relationships, how can they resolve to maintain a healthy level of autonomy and independence?
• What resolutions can men make to better themselves?

To learn more about Juliana, visit dr-juliana.com, follow @drjulianahauser on IG, and be sure to check out her RESTORED program, a weekly support group for professional helpers. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2251-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more.

The end of another year is rapidly approaching, and that means a lot of people are soon going to start making resolutions for self-improvement. Oftentimes, those resolutions revolve around improving one’s physical health through exercise and diet, or bettering one’s mental health through finding better work-life balance or setting new boundaries. However, as you ponder your own resolutions for the new year, consider resolving to have better sex. With the right set of sexual resolutions, you can start to enjoy the best sex of your life! I am joined today by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, sex, and sexuality. In addition to running a private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known expert in this area whose work has appeared all over in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What are some practical things people can do to develop a greater sense of sexual empowerment?
• What are some resolutions people can make to improve their physical, mental, and emotional well-being that can also boost sexual performance and sexual satisfaction, too?
• How can partners break out of sexual routines and introduce more novelty into their sex lives in the new year?
• How can you learn to be more "present" during sex so that you can fully enjoy the experience?
• What does a "sex plan" involve, and how could you benefit from developing your own sex plan?
• Are there any sexual resolutions you shouldn't make that might be counterproductive?

To learn more about Juliana, visit dr-juliana.com, follow @drjulianahauser on IG, and be sure to check out her RESTORED program, a weekly support group for professional helpers. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Get hard for the holidays with FirmTech! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

The latest evolution in pornography and erotica is virtual reality (VR), which is making adult content increasingly interactive. Most of the buzz about VR erotica involves taking solo masturbation to new heights. However, it can also be an innovative research method! VR is a way of simulating sex in a lab that can create a level of immersion you can’t replicate with 2-D porn. But an even more tantalizing application of VR is in the world of sex therapy. In fact, the future of sex therapy could be all about virtual reality! VR just might be the educational tool we need that also provides a safe space for exploring our sexuality.

For today's show, I am joined once again by Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor at the University of British Columbia, practicing psychologist, and author of the books Better Sex Through Mindfulness and the all-new Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• When scientists study sexual arousal, how do they decide what kind of porn or erotic content to show participants?
• Why might VR offer a more powerful way of studying arousal in a sex lab than traditional 2-D porn?
• How does VR impact feelings of "presence" and sexual arousal over and above 2-D porn?
• How might VR erotica be helpful for treating sexual difficulties? And what kinds of difficulties might this technology be helpful for?
• What is the future of VR in sex research and therapy?

Check it out! To learn more about Lori, visit loribrotto.com and brottolab.com, follow @drloribrotto on IG, and be sure to pick up a copy of her latest book, the Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2250-lehmiller Get hard for the holidays with FirmTech! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

Intimacy coordinators carefully choreograph sexual and intimate scenes to ensure respect and safety for the performers. However, what they actually do---the nuts and bolts of it all---is difficult work that oftentimes goes unrecognized (or is taken for granted) by the time a movie or TV show reaches our screens. So what all goes into filming scenes that feature simulated sex or intimacy? What does that process look like, and what happens when things don't unfold according to plan? Let's talk about it. This is the second episode in a two-part series all about what it takes to coordinate sex on screen. I am joined once again by Marci Liroff, who has worked as a casting director, producer, and acting coach for more than 40 years. Her extensive credits span more than 60 films and television series. In 2019, she completed an extensive training course and is now a Certified Intimacy Coordinator. If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet, go back to the previous episode (Ep 151) and come back when you’re finished. Today, we’re going to expand our understanding of what an intimacy coordinator actually does. Some of the topics we'll discuss include: 

• When an intimacy coordinator is hired for a gig, where do they begin? What are all of the things that have to happen before a scene is ever filmed?
• How does consent operate in the context of simulated sex?
• On the day a sex scene is actually filmed, what does that situation look like? And what are the kinds of things intimacy coordinators are monitoring?
• What are the roles of prosthetics and modesty garments in filming a sex scene?
• What are some of the unique considerations surrounding sexual assault and trauma that come up in these situations?
• What happens when an intimate scene involves a minor, such as a teenager having their first kiss?
• How do you make simulated sex seem authentic?

Be sure to check out Marci's website at marciliroffic.com to learn more about her work, and follow her on Twitter @marciliroff. Thank you to our sponsors! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Sex scenes are common in movies and on TV, but have you ever stopped to think about everything that goes into bringing one of those scenes to life? It’s a unique situation, and it puts the actors in a highly vulnerable position. For example, what if your scene partner goes off script and does something that you did not previously consent to? Or what if the director asks you to do something you aren’t comfortable with? In the past, issues like these weren’t given a lot of consideration, but that has all changed with the rise of intimacy coordinators. These are the folks who work to carefully choreograph sexual and intimate scenes to ensure respect and safety for the performers. This is the first episode in a two-part series all about what it takes to coordinate sex on screen. I am joined by Marci Liroff, who has worked as a casting director, producer, and acting coach for more than 40 years. Her extensive credits span more than 60 films and television series. In 2019, she completed an extensive training course and is now a Certified Intimacy Coordinator. Today, our conversation focuses on the evolution of on-screen sex scenes and the rise of intimacy coordinators. Some of the topics we discuss are:

• What are the power dynamics like on set, and how does this influence actors' ability to advocate for themselves?
• How were sex scenes typically navigated before intimacy coordinators?
• When did intimacy coordinators first come onto the scene and what prompted studios to start hiring them?
• What are some of the things that people get wrong about intimacy coordinators, and how do we make production teams more receptive to the idea of bringing them on board?
• What is the certification process like to become an intimacy coordinator?
• Do intimacy coordinators have specializations? Or, do they need to be prepared for virtually any intimate scenario?

Be sure to check out Marci's website at marciliroffic.com to learn more about her work, and follow her on Twitter @marciliroff. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2249-lehmiller  The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Low sexual desire is one of the most common sexual problems out there, but it's something that has been notoriously difficult to treat pharmacologically. The search for a pill that can produce desire out of thin air has been elusive, and that’s because desire is very complex.  So we need to look elsewhere for answers. One research-backed solution that has a lot of demonstrated success at both increasing sexual desire and dealing with other sexual difficulties is changing your headspace through mindfulness practices. In today's episode, we’re going to discuss what mindfulness is, how it works, who it’s for, and practical tips for incorporating it into your sex life.

I am joined once again by Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor at the University of British Columbia, a practicing psychologist, and author of the books Better Sex Through Mindfulness and the all-new Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What does the term "mindfulness" really mean?
• How can mindfulness lead to more satisfying sex, and what's the evidence for its effectiveness?
• How can practicing mindful eating help you to become more mindful in the bedroom?
• How do you learn to be mindful if you're someone who has a very difficult time getting out of your head?
• How can fantasy and mindfulness work together to elicit arousal?
• How can romantic partners practice mindfulness together?
• How can mindfulness augment other treatments for sexual difficulties?

Check it out! To learn more about Lori, visit loribrotto.com and brottolab.com, follow @drloribrotto on IG, and be sure to pick up a copy of her latest book, the Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2248-lehmiller FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

It is well known that depression (and certain drug treatments for depression, notably SSRIs) can lower sexual interest, desire, and activity levels. However, it turns out that the story of how depression and sex are connected is more complicated than this. Depression is one of those things that can affect different people in very different ways. In fact, research actually finds that depression has the potential to both increase and decrease sexual desire and behavior. So how do we explain this pattern of results? Let's talk about it.  I am joined by JoEllen Notte, a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken on her award-winning site, The Redhead Bedhead. JoEllen is the author of The Monster Under The Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having as well as the upcoming book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family. Some of the topics we discuss include: 

• Why depression may lower sexual interest in some people, but increase libido for others.
• The sexual side effects of various antidepressant treatments.
• How to take control of your sexuality when you're depressed.
• How to work with your healthcare provider(s) to minimize side effects of depression medication and treatment.
• How to communicate with a partner about sex when you're depressed.

Learn more about JoEllen at redheadbedhead.com. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

We've talked a lot about orgasms on this show, but there's still much to explore! So today's episode is going to dig into some interesting aspects of orgasm we haven't really discussed before. We're also going to consider some tips on having better and more pleasurable orgasms.

I am joined once again by sex therapist Dr. Laurie Mintz, a Professor at the University of Florida and author of the books Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It  as well as A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• We hear a lot about the importance of closing the orgasm gap--but we also hear a lot about how orgasms shouldn't be the goal of sex. So is orgasm the goal or not?
• Is orgasm a reliable metric of whether people are having good and satisfying sex?
• Some women say they aren't sure whether they've had an orgasm before. How do you know if you've had one or not?
• What's the key to helping women have more orgasms?
• What do we know about multiple orgasms in men?
• How can everyone get more pleasure from orgasm?

Learn more about Laurie at drlauriemintz.com Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2247-lehmiller FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

For decades, sex toys were largely marketed to women, with male sex toys really only starting to make an appearance in the last few years. Survey studies find that most adult men say they've never used a sex toy before (whereas most women have), and part of the reason for this is because male sex toys are more stigmatized. So let’s normalize sex toys for men!

My guest today is Jens Petter Wilhelmsen, CEO of Sweet Tech, the Norwegian company that designed and developed the Handy™, a revolutionary high-tech sex toy aimed at taking masturbation to new heights. Some of the topics we explore include:

• Why are there so many more sex toys for women than they are for men?
• Why are male sex toys more stigmatized, and what holds men back from exploring them?
• How do sexual wellness companies navigate the taboos around male sex toys?
• What is The Handy, and how is it different from other strokers and masturbators?
• How can sex toys benefit men's intimate lives beyond enhancing pleasure?
• What's the future of male sex toys?
• How do we cultivate a more sex-positive society where fewer taboos exist around masturbation and sex toys?

Want to get your hands on The Handy? Get 10% off your order by using my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) Follow this link to learn more: https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1  Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

We are once again in the midst of the annual abstinence challenge known as “No Nut November.” Basically, it involves men giving up ejaculation for the entire month (i.e., no "nutting” allowed). Those who partake do so for a wide variety of reasons, but they seem to be rooted in the idea that masturbation and orgasm are somehow unhealthy. So what does the research actually say? Let's talk about it!

For today's episode, I've pulled together some of my favorite clips on the history and science of self-pleasure from the archives. My guests include Dr. Eric Sprankle, Marie Aoyama from TENGA, Harvard professor Carole Hooven, urologist Joshua Gonzalez, sleep researcher Michele Lastella, and sex therapist Emily Jamea. This fascinating group of folks will answer the following questions for you:

• How long have humans been masturbating?
• What do humans think about when they masturbate?
• Does abstaining from masturbation boost testosterone?
• Can abstinence improve athletic performance?
• Can masturbation help us fall asleep faster?
• How can we have a healthier relationship with self-pleasure?
• How can we get more pleasure from masturbation?

Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2246-lehmiller FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

In recent years, a growing number of women of reproductive age have started walking away from the birth control pill. In fact, one survey found that 70% of those who were using the pill said they had either stopped taking it or were thinking about going off of it in the last three years. Why are so many Gen Z and millennial adults going off the pill? What contraceptives are they using instead? And how is the U.S. Supreme Court's reversal of Roe v. Wade going to impact all of this? Let's talk about it. I am joined once again by Dr. Sarah Hill, an award-winning research psychologist and professor. She is author of the fascinating book Your Brain on Birth Control, The Surprising Science of Women, Hormones, and the Law of Unintended Consequences. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• The factors prompting a decline in birth control use among young women.
• Common myths about hormonal birth control.
• The rise of fertility-tracking apps, and what users need to know about them.
• Where we are in the search for a male equivalent of the pill.
• How changing access to reproductive rights is changing the conversations we're having around contraception.

Learn more about Sarah at sarahehill.com and be sure to get a copy of Your Brain on Birth Control. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Most people will encounter a sexual problem at some point in their lives, but most will suffer in silence. Shame and embarrassment lead a lot of folks to avoid talking about sex problems and seeking help for them. Unfortunately, by doing nothing, these problems often end up growing into much bigger issues. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Many sex problems can be solved on our own, without the need for therapy. So let’s talk about things you can do to solve common sexual problems and get your sex life back on track.

I am joined once again by sex therapist Dr. Laurie Mintz, a Professor at the University of Florida and author of the books Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It  as well as A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What it means to give yourself permission.
• How a little bit of sex education can go a long way toward resolving sexual difficulties.
• Examples of "homework" exercises you can do to work on problem areas.
• When self-help isn't enough and you should head straight to a therapist or healthcare provider.
• Reasons why some people have difficulty orgasming.
• Tips for dealing with orgasmic difficulties.
• General tips for preventing sexual difficulties and maintaining a healthy sex life.

Learn more about Laurie at drlauriemintz.com Thank you to our sponsors! The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order. FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

When it comes to birth control pills, there's more than meets the eye. Hormonal contraception can have wide-ranging effects on both body and mind, to the point where who you are on the pill might actually be quite different from who you are off the pill. The way your body responds to stress, the people you're attracted to, your overall desire to have sex---these are just a few of the many ways that hormonal contraceptives might impact someone. So, let's talk about!

My guest today is Dr. Sarah Hill, an award-winning research psychologist and professor. She is author of the fascinating book Your Brain on Birth Control, The Surprising Science of Women, Hormones, and the Law of Unintended Consequences. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How common is it for hormonal contraception to lower sexual desire, and why does this happen?
• How do birth control pills change the types of men that heterosexual women are attracted to? And what does this mean for their sex lives and relationships?
• How does hormonal contraception affect the body's stress response, and what are the implications of this?
• Why does hormonal birth control increase the risk of depression, and is this part of the reason women why have higher rates of depression than men?
• Do all hormonal contraceptives have similar side effect profiles?
• Birth control clearly has many positive implications for people's lives, but also a number of unintended side effects. What do people need to know when it comes to making an informed decision about which contraceptive to use?

Learn more about Sarah at sarahehill.com and be sure to get a copy of Your Brain on Birth Control. Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2245-lehmiller The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more.

Although the modern sex doll industry largely caters to straight men, a growing number of heterosexual women are getting in on the action by purchasing male sex dolls. Sex dolls for women have actually been around for more than a half-century, but they've changed quite a bit over the years. So who are the women buying male sex dolls? What are their reasons for purchasing them, and are they meeting women's needs? And why is there so much stigma around sex doll ownership? Let's talk about it! I am joined once again by Hallie Lieberman, a sex historian and journalist. She is also author of the book Buzz: A Stimulating History of the Sex Toy, which we discussed back in episode 21 of this show. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• The history of male sex dolls (it all started with "Big John!").
• How many women have ever used a sex doll, and how much these dolls cost.
• What male sex dolls tend to look like.
• Women's reasons for buying sex dolls and how they're similar/different compared to men.
• Whether sex dolls are effective at satisfying sexual and other needs.
• Why sex dolls are more stigmatized than vibrators and dildos.
• The future of sex dolls for women.

To learn more about Hallie, follow her on the socials @hallielieberman and be sure to pick up a copy of her book, Buzz. Thank you to our sponsors! The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order. The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Want to lead a better life in the bedroom and beyond? This episode is for you! I asked six experts for their favorite pieces of sex advice, relationship advice, and life advice. These bonus interviews come from a stellar line-up of previous guests on the show, including:

• Sex researcher, educator, and therapist Dr. Kristen Mark (who appeared on Episode 46)
• Sex writer Tracy Clark-Flory (who appeared on Episode 24)
• Author and sex guru Emily Nagoski (who appeared on Episode 48)
• Sex therapist and author Martha Kauppi (who appeared on Episode 35)
• Sex researcher and author Brian Earp (who appeared on Episode 23)
• Physician and sex educator Ina Park (who appeared on Episode 39)

All of these folks have amazing wisdom to share that will give you a new outlook on leading a good life! Enjoy! Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2244-lehmiller FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Advance your training in human sexuality at the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes! Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education.

What was the most popular porn search term last year? According to Pornhub, it was hentai. This term refers to a form of animated or cartoon porn and it seems to be on the rise. So how did hentai come to be such a popular thing in the first place? And why do some people prefer animated porn to live action porn? Let's talk about it!

Sexuality educator Ashley Weller returns for this show. Ashley is a professor at Chapman University who runs a podcast called What's your Position? that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include:

• The origins of hentai and its surprisingly long history.
• How legal restrictions on pornography production and consumption paved the way for the rise of animated porn.
• Who watches hentai, and how its appeal differs based on gender and sexual orientation.
• How personality and attachment style relate to interest in animated porn.
• How many people fantasize about cartoon or anime characters.
• The impact of hentai porn consumption vs. mainstream porn on audiences.

To learn more about Ashley, check out her podcast What's your Position? and follow her on Instagram @whatsyourpositionpodcast Thank you to our sponsors! The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order. Advance your training in human sexuality at the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes! Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education.

When it comes to buying and selling sex, people most commonly think of men as the buyers and women as the sellers. However, while men are indeed far more likely than women to report having paid for sex, recent media reports suggest that the number of women buying sex may be on the rise. So, let's talk about it.

I am joined by Hallie Lieberman, a sex historian and journalist who has written extensively about sex work. She is also author of the book Buzz: A Stimulating History of the Sex Toy, which we discussed back in episode 21 of this show. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Who are the women who pay for sex sex?
• What are the most common reasons women pay for sex?
• Why do so many women feel that paying for sex is safer than having casual sex?
• Who are the men who sell sex to women?
• What are the main reasons men become gigolos?
• Where do gigolos usually work, and what kinds of services do they sell?

To learn more about Hallie, follow her on the socials @hallielieberman and be sure to pick up a copy of her book, Buzz. For further information on the research discussed in this episode, see here. Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2243-lehmiller Advance your training in human sexuality at the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes! Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education.

Imagine you are a sex therapist and one of your patients discloses a sexual interest that either makes you personally uncomfortable or is something you are totally unfamiliar with. This often happens when kinky people seek out sex therapy, and it sometimes results in clients not getting the help they really need. So let's talk about navigating sex therapy with kinky clients. We’re going to discuss what therapists need to know, as well as how patients can identify kink-affirming providers.

I am joined once again by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients and its sequel, titled Kink-Affirming Practice: Culturally Competent Therapy from The Leather Chair. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How much training do sex therapists usually get in the area of kink and BDSM anyway?
• How do you deal with a problem like sexual shame?
• How do you navigate power dynamics in the therapy office with kinky clients?
• What should you do when a client expresses a sexual interest that makes you uncomfortable?
• What should you do when a client's sexual interests pose a very high risk of harm to the self or others? How do you encourage safety without shaming them?
• Where's the best place to find a kink-affirming therapist?

Find kink-aware professionals through the NCSF directory or the AASECT directory. Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2242-lehmiller The Scarlet Society is here to help you explore what it is that brings you pleasure and cultivate the relationships you deserve. It’s your new home for trusted resources aimed at helping women navigate sex and love after age 40. Visit scarletsociety.com to learn more and liberate your sexuality.

Attachment theory was originally based on the assumption that everyone is or wants to be monogamous; however, many people are polyamorous or otherwise engaged in consensual nonmonogamy. So how does attachment work when you have more than one partner? Can you have secure attachments with several partners at the same time? Let's talk about it! I am joined once again by Jessica Fern, a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and NonMonomgamy. She is also the author of the all-new Polysecure Workbook. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Is monogamy really a prerequisite for developing secure attachment?
• Do you have to be securely attached in order to be happy?
• How can opening up a relationship change our attachment patterns, for better or for worse?
• Why it's important to be securely attached to yourself.
• How to build more secure attachments.
• What to do when you and your partner(s) have different attachment styles.
• How you can tell when you've reached the saturation point for attachment-based relationships in your own life.

To learn more about Jessica, visit jessicafern.com and be sure to check out Polysecure and the new Polysecure Workbook. Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2241-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Most of us have had a kinky fantasy at some point in our lives, and many of us have actual experience with kink in the bedroom as well. In fact, nationally representative US surveys find that at least one-third of adults have engaged in some kind of BDSM. However, despite how common kink and BDSM are, myths and misconceptions abound. So let's talk about kink!

I am joined by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani recently published a sequel to this book called Kink-Affirming Practice: Culturally Competent Therapy from The Leather Chair. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What does the term "kink" actually mean?
• Why obsessing over the origins of kink can be problematic.
• What's the connection between kink and sex? Is BDSM always sexual?
• What to do when your sexual fantasies and desires conflict with your political values.
• The kink spectrum: from dark and brooding to fun, playful, and silly.
• What counts as fetishization, and when does it cross a line?
• Common things people get wrong about kink and BDSM.

Thanks to the Scarlet Society (scarletsociety.com) and Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!

The Scarlet Society is here to help you explore what it is that brings you pleasure and cultivate the relationships you deserve. It’s your new home for trusted resources aimed at helping women navigate sex and love after age 40. Visit scarletsociety.com to learn more and liberate your sexuality. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education.

The process of opening up a relationship can bring with it a number of benefits, but also a number of challenges. So what does it actually look like when a couple goes down the path of opening up? Let's talk about it! My guest today is a leading expert on consensual non-monogamy and we’re going to explore what her own personal relationship journey looked like, as well as lessons she’s learned from several years of working as a therapist in this area.

I am joined by Jessica Fern, a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and NonMonomgamy. She is also the author of the all-new Polysecure Workbook. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How can opening up a relationship change things for the better?
• What are the most common challenges or obstacles that occur when opening up?
• How do you know if monogamy or consensual non-monogamy is right for you?
• What are some examples of "vessels" or relationship containers you can use to explore non-monogamy?
• What kinds of things should you take into consideration if you're thinking about opening up a relationship?

To learn more about Jessica, visit jessicafern.com and be sure to check out Polysecure and the new Polysecure Workbook. Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2240-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Contrary to popular belief, genital stimulation isn’t absolutely necessary when it comes to orgasm. Many people have experiences with "non-genital orgasms," which are orgasms that result from something other than stimulation of the penis or vulva. This can include a lot of different things, from nipple and ear stimulation to getting a tattoo or piercing to exercise and taking a bumpy car ride. So what do we know about all of these non-genital orgasms? Let's talk about it!

I am joined by Dr. Barry Komisaruk, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Rutgers University-Newark. Barry has published more than 180 research articles and has co-authored and edited five books, including The Science of Orgasm. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• The fascinating connection between pleasure and pain. It turns out that losing the ability to experience pain also results in a loss in the ability to experience pleasure.
• What women who can think themselves to orgasm are thinking about.
• Whether non-genital orgasms look the same physiologically as genital orgasms.
• Why stimulation of the nipples or ears alone can sometimes trigger orgasm.
• Why some people have reported experiencing orgasm during childbirth or defecation.

This is a fascinating episode you won't want to miss. Check it out!

Thanks to the Scarlet Society (scarletsociety.com) and Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!

The Scarlet Society is here to help you explore what it is that brings you pleasure and cultivate the relationships you deserve. It’s your new home for trusted resources aimed at helping women navigate sex and love after age 40. Visit scarletsociety.com to learn more and liberate your sexuality. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education.

Every relationship we have could benefit from defining some boundaries, whether we're talking about relationships with our employers, friends, or sexual partners. However, most of us aren’t very good at establishing them because setting boundaries feels like saying "no," and no can be a really difficult word to say for a lot of reasons. So let’s talk about boundaries. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss everything you need to know, including when to discuss them, how to communicate boundaries effectively, as well as how to move on when boundary violations occur. I am joined by Dr. Alison Ash, a trauma-informed intimacy coach and educator, Stanford University Lecturer, author, and founder of TurnON.love. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why setting boundaries is so hard.
• How to figure out your own boundaries, because sometimes we don't know what they are yet.
• The fluidity of boundaries over time.
• When and how to reveal your boundaries in a relationship.
• Tips for starting a productive conversation about boundaries.
• How to listen better when a partner expresses their boundaries.
• How to recover and repair a relationship when boundaries get crossed.

To learn more about Dr. Aly, visit TurnON.love and follow @TurnON.love on Instagram. For information on Dr. Aly's upcoming Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills Mastercourse starting in January 2023, visit TurnON.love/intimacy

Thanks to the Scarlet Society (scarletsociety.com) and Cozy Earth (cozyearth.com) for sponsoring this episode!

The Scarlet Society is here to help you explore what it is that brings you pleasure and cultivate the relationships you deserve. It’s your new home for trusted resources aimed at helping women navigate sex and love after age 40. Visit scarletsociety.com to learn more and liberate your sexuality. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth's bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Their temperature regulating and moisture wicking fabric will keep you cool and comfortable all night long--any time of year. Visit cozyearth.com and get 35% off sitewide when you use my exclusive discount code: SEXANDPSYCHOLOGY

Some people want to have sexual and romantic relationships but are unable to do so. They are involuntarily celibate. For some, this perceived inability to form and maintain sexual and romantic relationships becomes a defining feature of the self---a social identity known as "incel." In the popular media, incels tend to be characterized as misogynists and male supremecists who are prone to violence. However, the truth about incels is more complex, and it turns out that the incels aren’t exactly who we think they are. So let’s take a look inside the minds of incels.

I am joined by William Costello, a PhD student at the University of Texas at Austin, where he is a member of Dr. David Buss's Evolutionary Psychology lab. He holds a Masters in Psychology, Culture, and Evolution from Brunel University London and his dissertation investigated the psychology of incels. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why incels have always been around, and how modern incels are different.
• Why changes in the mating market are creating more incels.
• What do people who identify as incel look like? Do they match up with the stereotypes (i.e., young, White, conservative)?
• Why popular dating advice given to incels isn't helpful.
• What the mental health of incels looks like.
• Are incels inherently prone to violence?

To learn more about William, follow him on Twitter @CostelloWilliam

Thanks to the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education. The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Flirting and seduction can be tricky business. For example, when you want to let someone else know you're interested, what do you even say? And how can you tell when someone is just being polite and friendly vs. actually flirting with you? Let's talk about it! Today's episode will tell you what you need to know about leveling-up your flirting game (in a non-sleazy way!), how read other people’s flirting cues, how to deal with rejection, and more.

I am joined by Dr. Alison Ash, a trauma-informed intimacy coach and educator, Stanford University Lecturer, author, and founder of TurnON.love. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Tips for ethical flirting.
• The fine line between expressing attraction and desire for someone vs. manipulation.
• How you can tell whether another person is really into you and isn’t just being nice--and how this is different when you're flirting online vs. in person.
• How to build up your confidence so that you're not second-guessing yourself when you flirt.
• How to de-escalate when someone flirts with you and you're not into it.
• How to cope with rejection in the dating marketplace.

To learn more about Dr. Aly, visit TurnON.love and follow @TurnON.love on Instagram. For information on Dr. Aly's upcoming Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills Mastercourse starting in January 2023, visit TurnON.love/intimacy

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education.

In 1947, Dr. Alfred Kinsey established the Institute for Sex Research to protect and preserve his pioneering research on human sexuality. Later renamed the Kinsey Institute, the organization founded by Dr. Kinsey has continued his legacy for 75 years. While many other sex research institutes founded by pioneers in the field have shut down, Kinsey has survived by adapting to the ever-shifting sexual landscape and its researchers continue to break new ground in the field. In today's episode, we're going to discuss the past, present, and future of the Kinsey Institute.

I am joined by Dr. Justin Garcia, the current director of the Kinsey Institute. Dr. Garcia is an evolutionary biologist and sex researcher whose work focuses on the evolutionary and biocultural foundations of romantic and sexual relationships across the life course. He is also a professor of gender studies at Indiana University and the scientific advisor to Match.com. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How did the Institute originally came into existence, and how has its purpose and mission evolved over time?
• What are some of the biggest scientific contributions made by the Kinsey Institute that have changed the way people think about sex?
• What is the role of the Institute in preserving sexual and erotic art and history? (Fun fact: the Kinsey Institute is home to the world's largest collection of erotic art and artifacts outside of the Vatican!)
• What are some of the biggest challenges the Institute has faced over the last 75 years, and what are the modern challenges?
• What does the future hold for the Kinsey Institute?

To learn more about the Kinsey Institute, visit kinseyinstitute.org and follow @kinseyinstitute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about Dr. Garcia, follow @drjustingarcia on Twitter.

Thanks to the Cozy Earth (cozyearth.com) for sponsoring this episode!

Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth's bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Their temperature regulating and moisture wicking fabric will keep you cool and comfortable all night long--any time of year. Visit cozyearth.com and get 35% off sitewide when you use my exclusive discount code: SEXANDPSYCHOLOGY

Your brain truly is your biggest sex organ, which means that if you want to have more--and better--sex, the key is really to make sure that you're in the right headspace. However, this is something that a lot of us struggle with. We're just not in the right place mentally in order for desire to set in, or to let go and become fully immersed in pleasure. We're too distracted. We're too stressed. We're constantly thinking about our own insecurities. But this doesn't have to be the case. So let's talk about how to change your mind so that you can change your sex life for the better. My guest today is Dr. Kelly Casperson, a urologist, sex educator, podcaster, and author of the new book You Are Not Broken: Stop Should-ing All Over Your Sex Life. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why mindset is everything when it comes to sex.
• Where to start when it comes to changing your sexual mindset.
• Why it's important to step back and analyze your own motivations for having sex. Are you usually looking to obtain something positive, or to avoid something negative?
• Why it's time to stop "should-ing" all over your sex life. Forget what you're "supposed" to do; instead, do what it is that you actually want to do.
• Why NOW is the time to start making changes.
• How to identify your sexual "accelerators" and "brakes."
• How to "show up" and be more in-the-moment during sex.

To learn more about Kelly, follow @kellycaspersonmd on Instagram and check out her book You Are Not Broken.

Thanks to the Cozy Earth (cozyearth.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth's bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Their temperature regulating and moisture wicking fabric will keep you cool and comfortable all night long--any time of year. Visit cozyearth.com and get 35% off sitewide when you use my exclusive discount code: SEXANDPSYCHOLOGY The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Most people have had a sexual fantasy about something that would be illegal to do in reality. That's normal. But talking about those fantasies sometimes gets people into a lot of trouble because law enforcement may look at fantasy as a sign of criminal intent. But does having a fantasy about doing something illegal and talking about it with others necessarily mean that you're likely to do it? This is just one of many fascinating and complicated questions that arises in the area where sex, psychology, and the law intersect. Let's talk about forensic psychology!

I am joined once again by Dr. Lucy Neville, a Lecturer in Criminology at the University of Leicester. Some of the topics we explore in this show include:

• What does the work of a forensic psychologist actually entail?
• What sex scientists can bring to legal cases that center around sex crimes, and how pseudoscience hinders our ability to seek justice.
• What is the role of sexual fantasy in sexual offending?
• How do you determine whether sexual consent was present when disputes arise in legal proceedings?
• When consensual kink becomes a sex crime.
• How do you determine whether someone is likely to offend or reoffend?
• The role of forensic psychologists in working with victims.

Check it out! To learn more about Lucy, visit her academic page here, follow @blue_stocking on Twitter, and get a copy of her book Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys.

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education.

A lot of people in long-term relationships lose desire for sex and start thinking there's something wrong with them. But, in many cases, the problem isn't that they lack desire per se--it's that they've simply been having bad sex. They lost interest in sex because it just wasn't worth having, which means that getting desire back isn't about taking some pill or medication; rather, it's about making sure that you've having sex that's worth having. So let's talk about how to make the shift from bad sex to good sex.

My guest today is Dr. Kelly Casperson, a urologist, sex educator, author, and podcaster whose mission is empowering women to live their best love lives. She is author of the new book You Are Not Broken: Stop Should-ing All Over Your Sex Life. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• The three main types of "bad sex."
• Why you need to stop approaching sex by thinking about what you "should" do.
• Why it's a bad idea to use sex as a bargaining tool in a relationship.
• What it means to have good sex.
• Why perfection shouldn't be the goal of sex and we should be aiming for "good-enough sex."
• How to stop having bad sex.
• Tips for having good (or at least good-enough) sex.

To learn more about Kelly, follow @kellycaspersonmd on Instagram and check out her book You Are Not Broken.

Thanks to the Cozy Earth (cozyearth.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!

Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth's bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Their temperature regulating and moisture wicking fabric will keep you cool and comfortable all night long--any time of year. Visit cozyearth.com and get 35% off sitewide when you use my exclusive discount code: SEXANDPSYCHOLOGY Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education.

There are a lot of heterosexual women out there who enjoy watching man-on-man pornography. In fact, some of the most popular tube sites in the world have reported that gay male porn is amongst the most-watched genres by female visitors. So why is that? And why do so many of these women enjoy gay male porn more than heterosexual porn? Let's explore!

I am joined by Lucy Neville, a Lecturer in Criminology at the University of Leicester, a published writer of erotica (under a pen name), and pornography researcher. She is author of the book Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys. Some of the topics we explore include:

• How common is it for heterosexual people to watch gay porn in general?
• Why is straight porn often unappealing to heterosexual women?
• What do so many women find appealing about gay male porn?
• What role does sexual equality (i.e., versatility) have in the appeal of gay porn?
• "Gaypropriation": is it exploitative for women to consume gay male porn?
• Is the rise of porn made by women, for women changing what women seek in erotic content?

Check it out! To learn more about Lucy, visit her academic page here and follow @blue_stocking on Twitter.

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Many sex therapists have argued that women's sexual desire is relational, meaning that as long as a woman is in a good relationship and she's connected with her partner, interest in sex should naturally follow. But that doesn't match up with reality. A lot of women with low sexual desire say that their relationships are otherwise perfect. Why is that? It turns out that the things that make for a very satisfying relationship are sometimes at odds with the things that turn us on. So is it even possible to "have it all" in a relationship? Let's talk about it!

My guest today is Dr. Marta Meana, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.  She is also an Associate Editor at the Journal of Sex Research and the author of numerous academic publications on women's sexual desire. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Diversity in how sexual desire is experienced.
• Why long-term monogamy is hard on sexual desire for everyone, but especially for women.
• How problems with low sexual desire are generally treated.
• Why "wanting to be wanted" is at the core of women's sexual desire.
• Whether it's possible to maintain both intense intimacy and intense passion at the same time.
• Why women are more likely than men to see themselves as the object of desire in their fantasies.
• How having more erotic self-focus can benefit women's (and their partners') sex lives.
• The psychology behind women's forced sex fantasies.

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

When it comes to sex, you deserve to get what you want and to be in control of your body, your pleasure, and your sexual health. However, in order to do that, you have to be sexually empowered. You have to know what it is that you want in the first place, and be able to communicate about that. This is something that a lot of us really struggle with, so let’s talk about sexual empowerment. Today's show is all about building up your sexual self-confidence, learning how to ask for what you want, and being able to say no when there's something you don't want.

Dr. Tara is back to give us tips on sexual empowerment. She is an associate professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton, a sex and relationship coach, and host of the podcast Luvbites. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What it means to be sexually empowered.
• Where to start when it comes to building up sexual self-confidence.
• How to stop judging your own fantasies and desires.
• How to tell your partner what you want.
• How to say no to things you don't want.
• The role of contraception and abortion rights in sexual empowerment.
• The difference between sexual empowerment and attention-seeking behavior.

Check it out! To learn more about Dr. Tara and listen to her Luvbites show, visit luvbites.co

Thanks to the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education. The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

The terms “sex” and “intercourse” are often used interchangeably, but the truth is that sex doesn’t have to include intercourse at all! In fact, outercourse often makes for even more satisfying sex. "Outercourse" is the general term for any sexual activities that aren’t focused on vaginal or anal penetration. By practicing more outercourse, we stand to benefit in a lot of ways, from discovering new sources of pleasure to adding more novelty in the bedroom to closing the orgasm gap. Today’s episode is a guide to outercourse, and how you can use it to level-up your sex life.

I am joined once again by Dr. Amy Pearlman, a board-certified urologist and sexuality educator. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• The importance of expanding our definition of sex and elevating outercourse.
• Where to start if you're new to outercourse.
• How sex toys and vibrators can take outercourse to a whole new level (as part of this, I talk about the vibrator that changed my sex life!).
• How to talk to your partner about trying something new in the bedroom.
• Tips for maintaining a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Check it out! To learn more about Dr. Pearlman, visit pearlmanmds.com and follow @amypearlmanmd on Instagram.

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

The state of sex education is poor for American adolescents—but you probably already knew that. However, what you may not realize is that the state of sex ed for adults entering fields like medicine, psychology, and nursing isn’t all that great, either. There’s no universal standard for how sexuality should be taught in most healthcare training programs, nor is there even a requirement that it be taught at all! The sex ed deficit in medical education is hurting all of us, so let's talk about how to make it better. Dr. Rachel Needle is back to talk about advanced sex ed. She is a a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, and founder of the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why we can't look at physical, mental, and sexual health as completely separate things.
• How making sexual health a core component of primary healthcare stands to benefit public health.
• How much training doctors and other healthcare professionals are actually getting in sexual health.
• How current healthcare providers can increase their sexual knowledge.
• What a "sexual attitude reassessment" is and how it can help providers to check their own biases.
• How healthcare providers can start productive conversations about sex in the office.
• How patients can find knowledgable and affirming providers and talk to their doctors about sex.

Thanks to the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education. The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

When it comes to both sexual identity and gender identity, it’s not uncommon for people to say “I was born this way.” However, while both same-sex attraction and gender non-conformity are indeed linked to various biomarkers, the way people come to adopt specific identities is far more than just a simple function of their biological makeup. Identities are socially and culturally constructed. As a result, sexual and gender identities vary considerably across time and culture. It's important for us to recognize that our way of thinking about sexuality and gender isn’t the only way, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re going to explore sexuality and gender in cross-cultural perspective. My guest is Dr. Paul Vasey, a Professor and Research Chair in the Department of Psychology at the University of Lethbridge, who conducts cross-species and cross-cultural research on sexuality and gender. Some of the topics we explore include:

• The third gender category of fa'afafine in Samoa. What does this term mean, and how does it relate to the Western concept of transgender?
• Does gender dysphoria exist in cultures where more than two genders are recognized and accepted?
• Same-sex attraction exists in Samoa (as it does everywhere), but almost no one there identifies as gay. How is same-sex sexuality expressed in Samoa instead?
• Outside of the West, do sexual and gender minorities band together? In other words, does an organized LGBTQ+ community exist everywhere in the world?
• Cultures like Samoa where third genders exist are seen by some in the West as gender utopias. But should we be romanticizing the way that Samoa and other cultures approach gender diversity?
• The broader role that social and cultural environments play in shaping our own personal understanding of our gender and sexuality.

Check it out! Thanks to The Handy (thehandy.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode! The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order. The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Kane Power (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Our dating lives are a mess. Nationally representative US surveys conducted prior to the COVID-19 pandemic found that about two-thirds of single Americans said their dating lives weren't going well. Today, a majority of them say that the pandemic has only made things worse. So why is modern dating so hard? And how can we make things better? That's what today's episode is all about. My guest is Dr. Tara, an associate professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. She is also a sex and relationship coach and host of podcast Luvbites by Dr. Tara. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why the rapid transition to online dating has made dating more challenging.
• How to get "dating clarity" and figure out what it is that you're really looking for.
• Tips for creating a successful online dating profile.
• Low-stress conversations starters for both online and offline connections.
• How to deal with dating rejection.
• General tips for better dating outcomes.

Check it out! To learn more about Dr. Tara and listen to her Luvbites show, visit luvbites.co

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education.

If you have a penis, then you probably already know that it doesn't always do what you want it to do. Sometimes you'll get an erection when you don't want one--and sometimes you won't be able to get an erection when you do want one. Relax. That's normal. But when does it start to cross the line into a sexual difficulty in need of treatment? And what are the best ways to manage erectile difficulties? That's what today's show is all about.

Let's get kinky! Today's episode is a compilation of some of my favorite clips about the psychology of kink, BDSM, and fetishes. We're going to revisit my interviews with Dr. Richard Sprott (Episode 44), Dr. Jim Pfaus (Episode 56), filmmaker and former professional dominatrix Stavroula Toska (Episode 72), and sex therapist Shamyra Howard (Episode 8). Some of the topics we explore in this show include:

• What does the term kink really mean anyway? And what's the difference between kink, fetish, and BDSM?
• Where do kinky interests come from in the first place?
• Is kink always about sex? What are some other reasons people are drawn to kink?
• What are the most common issues that come up in sex and relationship therapy with kinky folks?
• How do you navigate consent and kink to ensure everyone's boundaries are respected?

Check it out! Thanks to The Handy (thehandy.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com)  for sponsoring this episode! The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Chris Sowa (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We keep a lot of things about our lives secret--but especially sexual things. People may hide their sexual thoughts, behaviors, and even feelings. And, sometimes, these secrets interfere with our pursuit of sexual and relationship happiness. So why do we hide so much about our sex lives in the first place? And if you want to let your partner in on a sexual secret, what do you need to know? Today's episode is a deep dive into sexual and relationship secrets. Michael Slepian returns to the show to help us lift the curtain. Michael is an Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia University and author of the book The Secret Life of Secrets: How Our Inner Worlds Shape Well-Being, Relationships, and Who We Are. He previously appeared on Episode 117 to talk about the broader psychology of secrets, so be sure to check that out if you haven't already. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why our secrets focus disproportionately on sex.
• The most common things we hide about our sex lives.
• How technology is making it harder to keep sex secrets.
• Whether we should confess infidelity.
• The effects of keeping a romantic relationship secret.
• How to share intimate secrets with a partner.

Check it out! To learn more about Michael, check out his website at michaelslepian.com, take the secrets survey at keepingsecrets.org, and check out The Secret Life of Secrets. Thanks to The Handy (thehandy.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode! The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order. The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Think about a secret you're keeping right now. Odds are, it shouldn't take long for something to come to mind. We all keep secrets. In fact, the average person is keeping roughly 13 secrets at any given point in time! So what exactly are we hiding, and why are we hiding so much? Today's episode offers a deep dive into the psychology of secrets. We'll explore why secrecy is such a pervasive part of our lives, the psychological effects of secrecy, how to deal with the burdens of secrecy, and much more. My guest today is Michael Slepian, an Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia University. His latest book is titled The Secret Life of Secrets: How Our Inner Worlds Shape Well-Being, Relationships, and Who We Are. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• The difference between secrecy and privacy.
• The difference between secrecy and lying.
• The most common things people keep secret (hint: sex and relationships are pretty high on the list!).
• How your personality affects the number of secrets you keep--and how good you are at keeping them.
• The potential positive and negative effects of secrecy on our mental health.
• How keeping other people's secrets is different from keeping your own secrets.
• What to do when secrecy becomes really burdensome.

Check it out! To learn more about Michael, check out his website at michaelslepian.com, take the secrets survey at keepingsecrets.org, and check out The Secret Life of Secrets.

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com)  for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

All too often, political debates about abortion are full of myths and misconceptions. For this reason, a better understanding of abortion is crucial. So that's what today's episode is all about. We're going to discuss common things that people get wrong about abortion, why abortion bans don't work as intended, and why comprehensive sex education and improved access to contraceptives are the keys to reducing abortion rates. I am joined by Dr. Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. She is the founder of the Whole Health Psychological Center, the Advanced Mental Health Training Institute, and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• The most common reasons women seek abortion.
• The difference between emergency contraception and abortion.
• The stage of pregnancy at which most abortions occur.
• The effects of pregnancy and abortion on women's health.
• The psychological impact of abortion.
• How abortion bans, comprehensive sex education, and contraceptive access affect abortion rates.
• The future of sex and relationships in a post-Roe v Wade world.

Thanks to the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Have you ever noticed yourself feeling hornier than usual when you travel? If so, you're not alone. Being away from home seems to put a lot of people in the mood for sex. So why is that? The answer is actually surprisingly complex. A whole host of factors change when we go on vacation or take a trip and--together--they have the potential to create far more opportunities for sexual desire and arousal to set in than we typically experience at home. So let's talk about travel horniness! In this episode, I discuss the biological, psychological, and social factors that underlie this phenomenon, including:

• How many people fantasize about sex and travel, such as having sex on the beach, in an airplane, or in a hotel room.
• How engaging in novel, non-sexual activities on vacation can amplify sexual arousal.
• How our mindset changes when we escape our home environment.
• How substance use changes when we're on vacation.
• How the people we travel with influences our sexual behavior.
• Why exposure to more sunlight on vacation can make us hornier.

In addition to exploring the psychology behind travel horniness, I discuss my recent visit to the Icelandic penis museum, which is a fascinating place. If you thought human penises were diverse in size and shape, you haven't seen anything yet!

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and The Handy (thehandy.com)  for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order.

One of the keys to having truly great sex is approaching it with the right mindset. However, this isn’t something that we’re usually taught in sex education, which tends to focus more on the physiology of sex rather than the psychology behind it. So that’s what today’s episode is all about. It’s a compilation (or "cumpilation") of some of my favorite tips discussed on the show for changing your sexual mindset. Specifically, we're going to revisit my interviews with Joan Price (Episode 86), Dr. Jessica O'Reilly (Episode 67), Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus (Episode 83) and Dr. Emily Jamea (Episode 93). Some of the topics we explore in this show include:

• The importance of expanding your idea of what sex is.
• Why it’s important to make sex a multi-sensory experience.
• How to feel more comfortable and confident in your own skin.
• How be in the moment during sex.
• Why we should stop looking at sex as a goal-oriented activity—and instead, just relax and have fun.

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

We’re often our own worst enemies when it comes to having the sex we really want. Shame, secrecy, self-doubt, fear of failure—all of these things have a way of interfering with our ability to pursue pleasure. In order to have great sex, we need to change our entire sexual mindset. So that's what this episode is all about: how to feel hot, but unbothered. I am joined by Yana Tallon-Hicks, a relationship therapist and sexuality educator. She is author of the new book, Hot and Unbothered: How to Think About, Talk About, and Have the Sex You Really Want. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How to cope with "sexual imposter syndrome."
• How to overcome fear of sexual failure.
• How to build up your sexual self-confidence.
• How to learn what it is that you really want from sex.
• How to "hear no like a pro" (i.e., what to do when you and your partner aren't on the same page about sex).
• What to do when your sex drive gets out of synch with that of your partner.

Check it out! To learn more about Yana, visit yanatallonhicks.com and follow @the_vspot on Instagram. Also, be sure to check out her new book, Hot and Unbothered.

Thanks to the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!

There are a ton of sources for sex advice out there, which is great. But too many of them suffer from the same problem: they take a one-size-fits-all approach when, in reality, different things are going to work for different people. We each have a unique sexual self, which means that if you don't have a certain level of self-understanding, it can be difficult to know which advice to take--and which advice to leave. So that's what we're going to be talking about today: how to uncover your core erotic themes and increase sexual self-understanding. My guest is sex and relationship therapist Cyndi Darnell, author of the new book, Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It: The Truth About Mismatched Libido and Rediscovering Desire. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

• Why generic sex advice often doesn't work.
• How to pinpoint your own motivations for having sex.
• How your sexual fantasies can help you to uncover your core erotic themes.
• How to share sexual fantasies with a partner.
• Why it's important to step outside of our sexual comfort zone sometimes.
• How to deal with mismatched libido in a relationship.

To learn more about Cyndi, visit her website at cyndidarnell.com, follow her on the socials @cyndi_darnell and be sure to get a copy of her new book Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. 

According to some sources, a majority of all marriages in the world are arranged. Despite how common this practice is, little research has been conducted on the subject—and there are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there regarding what arranged marriages actually look like and how they work (including the idea that arranged marriage necessarily equates to "forced marriage"). So that's what we're going to be talking about today. I am joined by Dr. Sharon Flicker, a clinical psychologist who researches intimate relationships. She is an Assistant Professor of Psychology at California State University - Sacramento. Some of the topics we explore include:

• How does the purpose of marriage differ across cultures?
• What does an arranged marriage actually look like?
• Who arranges an arranged marriage? Do the spouses have a say?
• Are people happier on average in couple-initiated vs. arranged marriages?
• What do people tend to get wrong about arranged marriages and how they work?

Check it out! To learn more about Sharon, you can visit her lab website or follow her on Twitter @smflicker1

Thanks to the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

If your romantic partner were to become sexually or romantically interested in someone else, how would you feel? Jealousy is often presumed to be the default response, especially in monogamous relationships. However, in consensually non-monogamous relationships, people often experience happiness, pleasure, or other positive feelings--a phenomenon known as compersion. So how are jealousy and compersion linked? Can you experience both at the same time? Can you learn to experience compersion if it's something you've never felt before? That's what we're going to be talking about today. I am joined by Dr. Sharon Flicker, a clinical psychologist who researches intimate relationships. She is an Assistant Professor of Psychology at California State University - Sacramento and has recently co-authored a series of papers on the subject of compersion. Some of the topics we explore include:

• What does it really mean to experience compersion?
• What are the kinds of things that make it easier to feel compersion? What makes it harder?
• Is compersion a trait that you either have or don't have, or is it something you can teach yourself to feel?
• Are compersion and jealousy mutually exclusive, or can you experience both simultaneously?
• In polyamory, how do the relationships you have with your partner's partners influence compersion?
• Is the experience of compersion necessary for successful polyamory?

To learn more about Sharon, you can visit her lab website or follow her on Twitter @smflicker1

Thanks to the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

A masochist is someone who derives pleasure from the experience of pain. While we often think of masochism as being a purely sexual thing, it’s actually a pervasive part of everyday life. From the long-distance marathon runner to the person who covers their entire body in tattoos to the person who douses all of their food in hot sauce, there are countless examples of people intentionally inflicting pain on themselves—and getting some pleasure out of it at the same time. So why is that? We’re going to do a deep dive into the psychology of masochism today. I am joined today by Leigh Cowart, a researcher and journalist whose work has appeared in The Washington Post, New York Magazine, Popular Science, and more. Leigh’s latest book is titled Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

• Why do so many of us choose to suffer? Are we all masochists to some degree?
• Why do humans experience pain anyway? What is the adaptive value of it?
• Why is pain sometimes sexually arousing? How can pain enhance sex?
• Why do some people seek out more intense pain than others?
• Where does all of the shame and stigma around masochism (particularly sexual masochism) come from?
• When can pain-seeking behavior be healthy, and when can it become a problem?

To learn more about Leigh, follow her on the socials @voraciousbrain and be sure to get a copy of her book Hurts So Good

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Survey studies find that about 1 in 5 people say they’re been in some type of sexually open relationship before. Despite how common consensual non-monogamy is, research, data, and information on it is pretty limited. And, oftentimes, it’s not addressed at all in psychology training programs. So, for today's episode, we're going to explore what you need to know about sexually open relationships. I am joined by Dr. Michelle Vaughan, an Associate Professor in the School of Professional Psychology at Wright State University. She is the co-editor of the soon to be released Handbook of Consensual Non-Monogamy. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

• What attitudes toward consensual non-monogamy look like today and how they're changing.
• The key strengths of those who practice consensual non-monogamy.
• How to identify and lean into your own strengths in order to improve your relationship(s).
• Tips and advice for navigating sexually open relationships.
• How to know if consensual non-monogamy is right for you.
• Common issues that arise in sexually open relationships (e.g., jealousy) and how to deal with them.
• How to find an affirming therapist if you're in an open relationship.

To learn more about Michelle and her work, visit her Google Scholar page, follow her on Twitter @MichelleDVPhd, and check out the Handbook of Consensual Non-Monogamy (or order on rowman.com and use discount code RLFANDF25 to save 25%).

Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

Everyone has an "attachment style," which refers to the way that you tend to interact and connect with others in intimate relationships. Psychologists have found that attachment styles are reliable predictors of so many different things in our sex and love lives, from the content of our sexual fantasies to how we respond in conflict situations to our reasons for pursuing sex. A better understanding of your own (and your partner's) attachment style can potentially help you to cultivate a more fulfilling intimate life. So that's what we're going to be talking about today. Dr. Nicole McNichols is back to give us the guide to attachment theory. Nicole is an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington and she has a popular Ted Talk titled "Students On Top: A Vision for 21st Century Sex Education.” Some of the topics we explore include:

• What are the main attachment styles that exist?
• Where does your attachment style come from, and can it change over time?
• How does culture influence attachment style?
• How can you identify your own attachment style?
• How can you identify the attachment style of someone you're dating?
• What should you do if you and your partner have discrepant attachment styles?

To learn more about Nicole, visit nicolethesexprofessor.com and follow her on Instagram @nicole_thesexprofessor

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

Men who have sex with men often identify themselves in terms of sexual positions, such as top, bottom, or versatile to reference the role they prefer to take during anal sex. But what if none of those terms describe you? Today's episode is all about the growing number of gay and bisexual men who identify as "sides," or people who aren’t into penetrative anal sex. I am joined by Dr Joe Kort, the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He is a board-certified clinical sexologist and author of four books. Joe was the first person to coin the term "side" and his efforts to raise awareness of it recently led the sex and dating app Grindr to start offering it as an option for identifying oneself. Some of the topics we explore in this show include:

• How do gay and bisexual men define "sex?" And what are their most common sexual behaviors?
• Why is there so much pressure to identify yourself as a sexual position in the gay community?
• Why are some men into anal sex while others are not?
• What does it mean to identify as a "side?" And how many gay and bisexual men are sides?
• How can people be more respectful of others who have different sexual activity preferences without shaming them for wanting something different?
• What are the positive and negative aspects of identifying yourself as a sexual position?

To learn more about Joe, visit joekort.com and follow him on the socials @drjoekort

Thanks to the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

College students tend to be stereotyped as a pretty horny bunch who are hooking up every chance they get. But are today's college students really having more sex than ever? That’s what we’re going to be exploring in this show. Are they as sexually active as popular media depictions suggest? How is the sex that they’re having changing? And what do college students today need to know about navigating and cultivating healthy sexual and romantic relationships? I am joined by Dr. Nicole McNichols, an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole is the co-author of the textbook Human Sexuality In A Diverse Society and she has a popular Ted Talk titled "Students On Top: A Vision for 21st Century Sex Education.” Some of the topics we explore include:

• What are students' sex education experiences like before they get to college?
• How many college students today are sexually active? Are they having sex earlier or later than previous generations?
• How is the sex they're having different? Why is choking during sex on the rise?
• How are college students being influenced by porn and the #MeToo movement?
• Why do college students seem to find dating and relationships to be so challenging?

To learn more about Nicole, visit nicolethesexprofessor.com and follow her on Instagram @nicole_thesexprofessor

Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

Lisa’s first nonfiction book, Three Women, was an instant #1 New York Times bestseller and is currently in production as a series at Showtime with Shailene Woodley set to star. This book takes a deep dive into the sex lives and relationships of three American women who live in different parts of the country.

Why are we attracted to some people, but not to others? The answer to this question is surprisingly complex, but research has uncovered a set of scientifically-backed principles that can pretty reliably facilitate sexual and romantic attraction. This episode will help you to better understand those "laws" of attraction, including how you can leverage them to enhance your own appeal to others. Sexuality educator Ashley Weller returns for this show. Ashley is a professor at Chapman University who runs a podcast called What's your Position? that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include:

• Is attraction something that is usually instantaneous, or does it tend to grow over time?
• We often hear that "birds of a feather flock together." But we also hear that "opposites attract." So which one is true? Are we attracted to similarity or differences?
• What's the best way to start a conversation with someone you're attracted to? Do pick-up lines actually work?
• Can playing hard to get make you appear more desirable?
• How similar or different are men and women when it comes to what they want in a partner?
• If you find yourself attracted to the "wrong" type of person, how do you break that pattern?

To learn more about Ashley, check out her podcast What's your Position? and follow her on Instagram @whatsyourpositionpodcast

Thanks to the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

The Kinsey Institute's (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.