Why Halloween Is The Perfect Opportunity To Explore Roleplay Fantasies
October 31, 2023 by Bethany Lumsdaine
Each October, seasonal Halloween costume shops pop up everywhere peddling “sexy” costumes representing various professions, beloved TV and film characters, and spooky creatures. It’s a massive enterprise, with Americans expected to spend more than $12 billion celebrating the holiday this year alone!
Most adults who partake in Halloween festivities plan to dress up—69% (hehe) in fact. If you’re part of the 69%, why not get a little extra bang for your buck, so to speak, by leveraging your costume to explore your fantasies?
In a survey of more than 4,000 American adults conducted for Tell Me What You Want, almost half of the respondents said they had fantasized about having sex with someone in uniform before. Halloween costumes can provide a great opportunity to explore these fantasies, not to mention a chance to just look and feel sexy.
Here are four ways to explore fantasy roleplay and make the most of your costume this year.
1. Get a costume that taps into your own (or your partner’s) fantasies
From the aforementioned survey, the most popular uniforms people reported fantasizing about included:
- Military uniforms
- Police officers
- Student or teacher uniforms
- Athletic or sports uniforms
But these were just a few of the many that made the list. Other fantasy-worthy uniforms included pilots, sailors, flight attendants, clowns, and cowboys/cowgirls. Something you may have noticed is that several of these uniforms share a common theme in representing social roles that signal power or authority. This suggests that uniforms may appear in people’s fantasies as a way of establishing a dominant-submissive dynamic.
If you’ve never had a costuming fantasy or are unsure of which uniform might turn you on, take a trip to the costume store (or browse online) with your partner(s) and see which uniforms excite you the most. Which ones would you want to see your partner(s) in? Which ones do they want to see you in?
For some, the simple act of dressing up is enough to get the excitement going. It’s a relatively easy way to satisfy the desire for novelty and excitement, or perhaps even doing something a little taboo.
However, if you want to kick it up a notch, try taking on the role associated with your costume…
2. Make a roleplay date night
Roleplay doesn’t have to begin and end in the bedroom. If you start outside, you have more of an opportunity to immerse yourselves in the roles and establish a dynamic. Consider planning a date night where you and your partner can really get into your new personas. Especially around Halloween, going out to dinner or a movie or attending a party in a costume is socially acceptable, so why not make the most of it?
One of the big draws of roleplay is that, once you get into character, there’s an escape from self-awareness that happens. This can temporarily shed anxieties and insecurities and open the door to trying something you might otherwise be too inhibited to do, such as dirty talk.
Another way to think about it is that it’s not really you talking—it’s the character, which provides freedom to explore and experiment. Have fun with it!
3. Explore consensual power exchange
As mentioned above many (but not all) uniform/costume fantasies represent social roles that signal power. Donning a uniform can therefore be a handy way of establishing a dominant-submissive dynamic.
Consistent with this idea, the more frequently people fantasize about sex with a partner in uniform, the more often they fantasize about BDSM scenarios of almost every type in general. However, the biggest association we see is that that uniform fantasies are linked to more frequent fantasies about taking on a subordinate role and having sex with an authority figure, suggesting that this is a key part of the appeal for many people.
Roleplay can be a great way to set the scene for something a little kinky, whether just for a little bit of play or as part of your sex life. If this is new for you, check out our post on the basics of kink and BDSM. Another perk: exploring your kinky side can be a great time to practice and hone your communication, consent, and negotiation skills with your partner(s).
You might also take your roleplay to the next level by visiting a sex shop for some fun accessories. What tools might your character use? Cuffs? A feather duster? Try some new sensations while you’re at it.
4. Get creative!
One of the biggest gripes people have about celebrating Halloween is how much money a costume costs, especially when it’s a one-time use thing. However, a little creativity can add up to a lot of savings.
There is always the opportunity to fashion a roleplay costume from items in your closet, to do some secondhand shopping, or to wait until the holiday passes to get things at a steep discount for future use.
Remember: the costume doesn’t have to be perfect down to the last detail. After all, part of fantasy is the use of your imagination. Sometimes, just an accessory or two can be enough to get into a new role.
Want more tips on talking about sexual fantasies (whether about roleplay or something else) with your partner(s)? Check out our video all about it!
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and Psychology on Facebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Image credit: Andrew Robulack via Unsplash
Dr. Justin LehmillerFounder & Owner of Sex and Psychology
Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.Read full bio >