Episode 162: Creative Monogamy

January 27, 2023 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast
Sex and Psychology Podcast
Episode 162: Creative Monogamy

Many of us have a mold for what romantic relationships “should” look like, and then we try to make our own relationships fit that. But, no matter how hard we try, sometimes it just doesn’t fit. And that’s because we’re going about relationships all wrong. Instead of building relationships on a set of things you think you’re “supposed” to do, we need to build them on the actual wants and needs of the partners. One way you can give your relationship a custom design is with the concept of “creative monogamy,” which is all about finding the right relationship style and structure that works for you.

I am joined today by Dr. Joli Hamilton, a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT Certified Sex Educator. Joli co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast and her academic research focuses on how jealousy impacts our most intimate relationships. Some of the topics we discuss include:

  • Why does monogamy seem to be so difficult for so many people?
  • What is “creative monogamy” anyway?
  • Where do you start when it comes to building a creatively monogamous relationship?
  • For individuals who have developed a creative monogamy approach to their relationship, what might that look like?
  • How often should people revisit their relationship agreements?
  • How can someone in a monogamous relationship effectively communicate with their partner about wanting to change their relationship structure?

If you’re interested in practicing creative monogamy in your relationships, Joli has a free audio guide on bringing up the topic with a partner. Be sure to check out that resource (and more!) over on jolihamilton.com

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.


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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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