Episode 165: All About Sexual Fantasies

February 7, 2023 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast
Sex and Psychology Podcast
Episode 165: All About Sexual Fantasies

How do you feel about your sexual fantasies? Research tells us that many people feel alone in their sexual turn-ons, thinking that their fantasies are strange or unusual. In fact, this is why one of the most common questions I get asked as a sex educator is: “are my fantasies normal?” As you’ll see in this episode, odds are that the things you’re fantasizing about are likely quite similar to the kinds of things that most other people are fantasizing about too, which means there’s no reason to be ashamed of your turn-ons.

For today’s show, I am joined by Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a sex researcher, speaker, writer, and consultant. She teaches human sexuality courses at New York University and also runs a course called Open Smarter, which helps people figure out what type of relationship is right for them using science-based assessments of their unique personality.

Zhana is here to discuss a report recently released by Ashley Madison called Unbound Love: Sex, Fantasy, and Desire, which is based on the results of a survey conducted by YouGov in collaboration with Dr. Zhana. Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

  • What are the origins of the Unbound Love project and who participated in the survey?
  • What was the most common fantasy that emerged in the survey, and why is it so popular?
  • Is it normal for people in romantic relationships to fantasize about someone other than their partner?
  • Why is kink appealing to so many people?
  • How do our sexual fantasies differ across gender and age?

Make sure to check out Zhana’s website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @DrZhana to learn more.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.


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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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