Sex Ed, Videos

How To Talk To Your Partner About Your Sexual Fantasies

January 25, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller

There’s a lot we can potentially gain from talking to our partners about our sexual fantasies. Among other things, this has the potential to increase our sexual and relationship satisfaction and to enhance feelings of intimacy and closeness. However, many of us don’t quite know how to go about sharing and discussing our fantasies or desires. A lot of people feel too scared, anxious, or embarrassed to do so.

To help you get started, I created the video below, which offers some practical steps and guidelines for starting a productive and healthy conversation on this topic. I discuss some icebreaker ideas, as well as some other considerations for when and how to begin the discussion. Of course, there are no universal rules here and different things might work for different people, so be sure to keep that in mind.

For more on sexual communication strategies and the potential benefits of sharing (and maybe even acting on) your fantasies, check out my book, Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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