Dating & Relationships, Gender, LGBTQIA+, Sex Q&A

Do Men Fake Orgasms Too?

October 24, 2024 by Merissa Prine

It is common knowledge that women sometimes fake orgasms with their partners. At the same time, people seem to think that it’s something men don’t do because it is assumed that orgasms are generally easy for guys. But is that really true? We’ve received quite a few questions about this from readers. We posted an answer a few years back; however, we’re revisiting it today in light of some new research that has since emerged. Here’s the original question that was asked:

I had a rather lively conversation with some of my friends the other day about faking orgasms, with the general focus being the myth that men don’t or can’t fake orgasms. The conversation I had seemed to suggest that faking orgasms is not all that uncommon among men since everyone seemed to have at least one experience doing it, but obviously that is just my group of friends. So is faking orgasms a common experience for men?

Originally, when we answered this question on our blog, research suggested that 25% of men reported having ever faked an orgasm [1]. This study also suggested that men were creative in how they went about this, using techniques that ranged from hiding the lack of ‘evidence’ to making extra noises and pretending to finish.

New research finds that the rate of fake orgasms among men is actually a bit higher, with a 2024 study putting the number at 34%. Interestingly, it appears that the rate is even higher among sexual minority men. In a different study published in the same year, researchers found that 83% of sexual minority men said that they have faked an orgasm before and, further, 88% had faked sexual satisfaction [2].

So why do so many men fake orgasms? Early research suggested that men predominantly do this because they wanted sex to end or realized they wouldn’t be able to climax (e.g., due to intoxication). In other words, it appears that men frequently fake it to make themselves feel better; by contrast, women are more likely to report faking it as a way to please their partner and protect their feelings. However, more recent research suggests that there’s more to the story, finding that men, too, sometimes fake orgasms to support their partner’s emotional wellbeing. Thus, the gender difference in motivations may not be as large as previously believed.

An interesting aspect of fake orgasms that has not been explored until recently is why people decide to stop faking them. A recent cross-national study that included more than 11,500 participants from six different countries found that 19% of men and 34% of women reported that they used to fake orgasms, but have since stopped [4]. Many reasons for stopping were reported, including enhancing their sexual communication skills, their partner being better able to satisfy their desires, and becoming more comfortable with the absence of orgasm from sexual activity.

However, there were some interesting gender differences in reasons for not faking anymore. For example, men were significantly more likely than women to stop faking it because they had been caught. Men were also more likely to stop because they started feeling more confident. By contrast, women were more likely to stop because they because more comfortable with not having an orgasm.

What all of this research suggests is that faking orgasms is a common experience and that men, too, sometimes do this. However, this research also suggests that we would do well to shift our attention to fostering better communication about sexual desires and needs because getting one’s needs met can reduce the feeling of pressure to pretend orgasm. As always, communication is key!

If you have a sex question of your own, record a voicemail at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology to have it answered on the blog or the podcast. 

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here to check out other articles on the blog and here to listen to the podcast. You can also follow us on Instagram (@JustinJLehmiller), Facebook (facebook.com/psychologyofsex), Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit (reddit.com/r/psychologyofsex) to receive updates.

References:

[1] Muehlenhard, C. L., & Shippee, S. K. (2010). Men’s and women’s reports of pretending orgasm. Journal of Sex Research, 47, 552-567.

[2] Wongsomboon, V., McIltrot, E. A., & Sietins, E. (2024). Occurrence, frequency, and correlates of faking orgasm and satisfaction in sexual minority men. The Journal of Sex Research, 61(4), 629–637. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2023.2198997

[3] Séguin, L. J., & Milhausen, R. R. (2016). Not all fakes are created equal: examining the relationships between men’s motives for pretending orgasm and levels of sexual desire, and relationship and sexual satisfaction. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 31(2), 159–175. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2016.1158803

[4] Pavan, S., Øverup, C. S., & Hald, G. M. (2024). Why did you stop? Reasons for stopping faking orgasms and its association with sexual, relationship, and life satisfaction in Denmark, Finland, France, Norway, Sweden, and the UK. The Journal of Sex Research, 1–13. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2024.2401019

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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