Exploring Mutual Masturbation

May is International Masturbation Month, so let’s talk about the science of self-pleasure. You can read our blog from 2022 to learn about the history of Masturbation May, and you can check out our blog from last year to learn how masturbation trends have changed over time. We also have several awesome podcast episodes about masturbation, including Episode 450 with Dr. Eric Sprankle. 

In this post, we’re going to look at two studies that focus on mutual masturbation and shared porn use within relationships. 

Mutual Masturbation Within Relationships

The first study, published in the International Journal of Sexual Health, investigated the association between mutual masturbation, and sexual satisfaction. [1] In this study, mutual masturbation was defined as “the presence of involvement of a partner(s) during self-stimulation, which may occur before, during, or without any other sexual activity” (p. 496). The focus here on self-stimulation distinguishes mutual masturbation from other sexual acts, particularly those that include partnered genital stimulation. 

Half of the participants in this study (based on 268 people) had recently engaged in mutual masturbation. Both men and women reported more positive feelings towards mutual masturbation than negative ones, but notably, men reported significantly higher positive feelings toward it than women did. 

Although the percentage of people who recently engaged in mutual masturbation was less than the number who recently engaged in solo masturbation, mutual masturbation was associated with higher sexual satisfaction for women and men alike, while there was no association between solo masturbation and sexual satisfaction. This suggests that when it comes to increasing sexual satisfaction, mutual masturbation might have a role to play. 

Watching Pornography Within Relationships 

The next study is not explicitly about mutual masturbation, but it considers how watching pornography together (or alone) affects the quality of romantic relationships. [2] This research, published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, surveyed 1,234 people in committed relationships over the course of 20 months to see how their pornography viewing habits affected intimacy within their relationships. 

When it came to watching pornography alone, nearly 40% of participants reported watching it alone “sometimes,” and 8.4% of participants reported watching it “often.” When it came to watching porn with a partner, 40% of participants still reported watching it “sometimes,” but only 3.2% said they viewed porn with a partner “often.” However, these numbers varied a bit across timepoints, and men reported watching porn significantly more often than women did. 

Overall, watching pornography alone was associated with less sexual intimacy for men and women, although “women reported higher relationship quality at times when they reported watching more pornography viewing alone” (p. 138). For men, increased porn use was associated with lower investment in their own relationships, indicating that solo porn use is linked to different gendered outcomes in heterosexual relationships.

Partnered porn use, as compared to solo porn use, was associated with higher relationship quality (for both men and women) such that participants rated their emotional intimacy as increasing over time as mutual porn use increased. Watching porn with a partner was also associated with sexual intimacy, which makes sense when we think about how deciding to watch porn together (and deciding what to what) may open up avenues of communication about sexual desire and sexual pleasure. 

Together, these studies suggest that mutual masturbation—which might include watching porn together—may be a way to increase sexual connection with an intimate partner.

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References

Kılıç, D., Armstrong, H. L., & Graham, C. A. (2023). The role of mutual masturbation within relationships: Associations with sexual satisfaction and sexual self-esteem. International Journal of Sexual Health, 35(4), 495–514. https://doi.org/10.1080/19317611.2023.2237950

Huntington, C., Markman, H., & Rhoades, G. (2021). Watching pornography alone or together: Longitudinal associations with romantic relationship quality. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 47(2), 130–146. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2020.1835760