Fantasies, Kink & BDSM

5 Things Science Has Taught Us About BDSM

August 16, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller

BDSM (which stands for bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism) is one of the most popular sexual fantasies and a significant number of people report having engaged in BDSM acts before. Interest in BDSM appears to have risen in recent years and, at the time time, so has scientific interest. In this post, we’ll review 5 of the key things research has uncovered about BDSM.

1.) There isn’t just one thing that draws people to BDSM—in fact, there are at least 8 possible reasons! For some, it seems to be a lifelong orientation, whereas for others, BDSM interest emerges later in life in response to some experience or to meet some need (such as seeking balance, or coping with the pain of chronic illness).

2.) BDSM isn’t always about sexResearch on kinksters finds that BDSM tends to have sexual elements more often than not—but it’s a non-sexual experience for at least some individuals, with some people deriving personal or other meaning from BDSM. Also, some people who are asexual are drawn to kink, too.

3.) People’s interest in BDSM seems to change with age. In my own research on sexual fantasies, I find that interest in BDSM is actually highest among young adults (those in their 20s) and that it tends to be less common among older adults; however, BDSM fantasies are relatively common in every age group. Why might interest in BDSM change with age? One possibility is that it might be related, in part, to personality shifts that happen as we get older—and those shifts might predispose us to having different sexual interests. Learn more about this idea here.

4.) People who practice BDSM have relationships that are just as happy and healthy as everyone else. Many people (including some sex therapists) have questioned whether you can be into BDSM and have a healthy relationship—however, the research shows that consensual BDSM doesn’t impair relationship functioning or undermine relationship happiness, so let’s put this myth to rest.

5.) Exploring BDSM can boost sexual satisfaction. One of the biggest things that distinguishes the most from the least sexually satisfied couples is that the happy ones are mixing it up and trying new things—and that includes exploring their kinkier side. Research has found that sexually satisfied men and women are 2-3 times more likely to have tried BDSM compared to those who are sexually dissatisfied.

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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