Dating & Relationships, Videos

The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Our Lovers (Video)

April 11, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller

Social psychologists have found that people have a tendency to view their romantic partners in overly idealized ways. For example, we may view our partners as being more intelligent, compassionate, or trustworthy than they really are. Such beliefs have been dubbed positive illusions.

So why do we do this? And is it better to hold positive illusions about a partner or to view them in more realistic terms? For a look at the answers, check out the brief video below from our friends over at The Science of Us. Although they tend to focus on the beneficial effects of positive illusions, it’s important to highlight that there are definitely cases in which these illusions can be detrimental, such as when they prevent us from recognizing problematic behaviors (e.g., substance abuse, poor money management, infidelity).

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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