Episodes 197: Why People In Happy Relationships Cheat

June 9, 2023 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast
Sex and Psychology Podcast
Episodes 197: Why People In Happy Relationships Cheat

While it might be tempting to assume that people who cheat aren’t in very satisfying relationships, it turns out that even people who are very happy and in love with their partners sometimes commit infidelity, too. So why is that? Let’s talk about it. I recently released a few episodes of the show looking at women who have affairs (Eps 190 and 191), so we’re going to focus more on men today. Specifically we’re going to look at a new study of Ashely Madison users, a website that facilitates affairs and has a mostly male audience. We’re going to discuss why men (including those in happy relationships) have affairs and how it affects their primary relationships.

I am joined by Dr. Dylan Selterman, a social/personality psychologist and an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Johns Hopkins University. Dylan is a TEDx speaker and has written for The Washington Post, National Geographic, and Psychology Today. He also co-hosts a podcast called A Bit More Complicated.

Some of the topics we discuss on this episode include:

  • How are sexual and relationship satisfaction linked to infidelity?
  • How many Ashley Madison users are in open relationships vs. committing infidelity?
  • What motivates men to seek affairs?
  • How do they feel about their affairs ?
  • What predicts whether an affair becomes a breaking point for a relationship?

Be sure to check out Dylan’s website and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. You can also check out our recent blog post about this study to learn more.

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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