Episode 541: How to Calm Attachment Anxiety

For some people, relationships can bring a lot of anxiety and uncertainty. They might question whether their partner really loves them, become highly sensitive to signs of rejection or distance, or constantly seek reassurance. But where does this anxiety come from, and what can we do about it? In this episode, we’re exploring why some people are especially sensitive to disconnection, how anxiety shapes communication and conflict, and how to feel more secure in your relationships.

I am joined once again by Diane Poole Heller, PhD, an expert in attachment theory, trauma resolution, and integrative healing techniques. She created the professional training program Dynamic Attachment Repatterning experience (DARe) and is the author of the book The Power of Attachment, as well as the new book The Attachment Workbook: Practical Exercises to Understand Your Patterns, Strengthen Connection, and Build Secure Relationships.

Some of the specific topics we cover include:

• How does anxious attachment develop?
• How can anxious partners express their needs in healthy ways?
• What are the relationship strengths of anxious attachment?
• What’s a quick, hands-on exercise for calming anxiety?
• What does secure attachment look like for someone with anxious tendencies?

You can check out Diane’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @traumaattachmenttraining.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest (photo credit Amy K. Wright).