Episode 16: What We Get Wrong About Men’s Sexual Desire
December 21, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
A lot of people seem to be under the impression that men’s sexuality is simple. They see men as being perpetually horny and DTF and as always wanting more sex than women. They also tend to see sex as an inherently physical experience for men, having little do with emotions or intimacy. However, it turns out that this way of thinking about men and sex is all wrong.
For this episode of the podcast, I interviewed Dr. Sarah Hunter Murray, who holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the University of Guelph and is a Registered Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in Winnipeg, Manitoba. She is author of the book “Not Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, & Relationships.”
We cover a lot of ground in this episode, including:
- Is men’s sexuality as simple as we’ve been led to believe? Is women’s sexuality more “complex” or “complicated” than men’s?
- Do men have a higher sex drive than women?
- What factors influence libido and sexual desire in men?
- Is sex a more emotional experience for women than it is for men?
- Why do so many couples struggle with sexual initiation? What are some tips or strategies that can help when it comes to initiating sex?
- What do we know about sexual desire in gay, bisexual, and other sexual minority men? Are the sexual struggles and challenges they face similar to or different from those experienced by heterosexual men?
To learn more about Sarah’s work, check out her website here. You can also pick up a copy of her book Not Always in the Mood here.
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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
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