How Sex Toys Can Help Bring Your Fantasies to Life
January 17, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
**Note: This post is sponsored by EdenFantasys, a leading seller of intimate products.
There is a big gap between fantasy and reality. When I surveyed more than 4,000 adults about their sexual fantasies for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 4 out of 5 people said they want to act on their favorite fantasy of all time, but just 1 in 5 of them had actually done so. In other words, most people seem to have unfulfilled sexual desires—and they may be missing out.
I found that those who had acted on their fantasies were actually the happiest with both their sex lives and relationships, so there’s definitely something to be said for getting in touch with our deeper desires.
So how can you better bridge that gap between fantasy and reality? It all begins with communication—you and your partner need to be able to tell each other what you want in an atmosphere of mutual trust and intimacy (for tips on enhancing sexual communication, check out this video). However, acting on a fantasy requires that you do more than just talk—and that’s where sex toys can really come in handy.
Sex toys can serve a lot of different purposes, from intimate games that can help break the ice to props that can help establish a particular mood to devices that can deliver new sensations, help maintain arousal, and/or boost pleasure. In this post, we’re going to take a look at a few specific toys sold by EdenFantasys and explore how those toys can help turn fantasy into reality.
Men tend to reach orgasm faster than women, which is one of the many factors that contributes to the orgasm gap. As a result, I find that many people (men and women alike) fantasize about the idea of reaching orgasm at the same time as their partner.
If simultaneous orgasm is your fantasy, a couple’s vibrator might be just the ticket. For example, consider the Unity vibrator—this is a wearable vibrator that can be used during penile-vaginal intercourse. For the wearer, it provides internal and external stimulation at the same time, targeting both the clitoris and G-spot. In addition, the penetrative partner receives penile stimulation.
We know that clitoral stimulation increases the odds of a woman reaching orgasm during sex, and this vibrator is a hands-free way of adding that stimulation so that the partners can let their hands go wherever they want.
Multiple Partners and Double Penetration
Threesomes are one of the most common sexual fantasies—and one of the acts that people often fantasize about performing in a threesome is double penetration, with can be defined as either two penises entering the same orifice, or as two penises entering separate orifices that belong to the same person.
Although most people have fantasized about threesomes or other group experiences, most have never had one. Why? Many people aren’t sure how to go about opening up their relationship, others are concerned that bringing a third person into the bedroom will lead to jealousy, and yet others want to be monogamous because it’s consistent with their values.
Regardless of the reason, sex toys can help people to explore multi-partner fantasies. For example, consider the Double Penetrator Rabbit Ring—this is a ring that goes around the base of the penis that has a dildo attached to it. This toy was designed to allow someone with a penis to penetrate both the vagina and anus of a partner at the same time.
For good measure, there’s also a multi-function vibrator attached that offers clitoral stimulation, which might also make this toy a contender for helping with those simultaneous orgasm fantasies.
Experiencing New Sensations
Another popular sexual fantasy involves trying new things and experiencing different sensations. People tend to grow bored with sexual routines and, as a result, they’re constantly looking to mix it up. Novelty helps to boost and maintain high levels of arousal—and that’s where sex toys can really help.
For those with penises, the Orgy Machine is one such novelty device: it’s a combination of a traditional masturbation sleeve with a gyrating tongue. So in addition to thrusting sensations, there’s also the sensation of licking at the same time.
For those with vaginas, Sway is a G-spot rabbit vibrator that offers a finger-like bending motion designed to mimic the “come hither” move that many use to stimulate the G-spot through fingering. This can allow one to achieve the same kind of stimulation without a partner in a way that is longer-lasting and more consistent (after all, you don’t need to worry about anyone’s hands getting tired!).
These are just a few examples of the many ways in which toys can help to bring our sexual fantasies to life, and hopefully they give you some intimate inspiration. Head over to EdenFantasys to explore their vast selection of intimate products and try something new in the bedroom. Your relationship just might be better for it in the end—after all, research finds that the most sexually satisfied couples are the ones who use sex toys and explore their fantasies together.
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and Psychology on Facebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Image Source: 123RF/anotherchance
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Dr. Justin LehmillerFounder & Owner of Sex and Psychology
Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.Read full bio >