Sex Ed

What You Think You Know About Men’s Sexuality Is Probably Wrong

August 7, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller

One of the most popular stereotypes of male sexuality is that guys want sex ALL the time. They’re always in the mood because they’re constantly thinking about it. After all, men think about sex once every seven seconds, right? Er, well, not exactly. Research has found that men don’t think about sex nearly as often as that (it’s more like twice per hour, at least among college-age guys).

Another common stereotype of male sexuality is that sex and emotion are totally separate for guys. In other words, it’s widely believe that men’s sexual desire doesn’t have a whole lot to do with their emotional connection to their partners. As it turns out, though, research suggests that this isn’t necessarily true either.

In my latest article over at TONIC, I explore the results of a new study published in the Journal of Sex Research that just so happens to be co-authored by some of my favorite sex researchers on the planet (sex research shout-out to Robin Milhausen and Cynthia Graham!). This study involved qualitative interviews with a few dozen heterosexual men aged 30-65 in long-term relationships who were asked about their sexual desire–what gets it going and what turns it off?

What they found was that men’s desire for sex is quite complex and very much based in the emotional connection they have a long-term partner. In short, guys said that feeling wanted and desired by their partners is really important and a major turn-on, while being sexually rejected really hurts. They also reported enjoying and craving intimate communication, saying that it actually improves sex. In other words, sex and emotion are very much intertwined for men, at least in long-term relationships (casual sex might be a different story).

Check out the full article over at TONIC to learn more about this research.

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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