Episode 535: Why Kink Works For Neurodiverse Brains

September 11, 2026 by Justin Lehmiller

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For many neurodivergent people, BDSM offers something conventional sexual practices often don’t, including clear communication, explicit expectations, structure, and the freedom to tailor experiences to their own needs. In this episode, we’re going to explore why people with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence are often drawn to kink, as well as tips on making sex work with your brain instead of against it.

I am joined once again by Rebecca Blanton (AKA Auntie Vice,) a writer and kink educator. She runs the award-winning blog LoveLettersToAUnicorn.com and has published several books, including The Big Workbook for Submissives, a finalist for the 2018 Golden Flogger Award. She is also author of the forthcoming book, Kinky & Curious: Navigating BDSM with Mental Illness or Neurodivergence.

Some of the specific topics we cover include:

  • What does it mean to be neurodivergent?
  • Why might kink appeal to autistic people?
  • How can ADHD shape what someone enjoys about kink?
  • How can neurodivergent people communicate their kink needs?
  • What happens when partners have conflicting kink needs?

You can check our Rebecca’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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