Episode 59: Can You “Cheat-Proof” Your Relationship?

November 5, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller

Most people say that their ideal relationship would be monogamous. Despite this, however, a lot of people seem to have a really hard time maintaining monogamy. So why is that? And if monogamy is what you want, how can you most successfully maintain it and reduce the risk of infidelity?

For the answers to these questions, I spoke with Dr. Lucia O’Sullivan, a Professor of Psychology at the University of New Brunswick. She has published over 100 peer-reviewed articles on sexual and romantic relationships and is an Associate Editor of the Journal of Sex Research.

Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

  • What does it mean to be “monogamous?” Do different people define monogamy in different ways?
  • Why is it a bad idea to assume monogamy in a relationship?
  • What works and what doesn’t when it comes to maintaining monogamy? Is there anything you can do to “cheat-proof” your relationship?
  • What happens when someone in a monogamous relationship develops a crush on someone else? When is this harmless, and when does it become a threat to the relationship?
  • Are some people better equipped to maintain monogamy than others?
  • What happens when someone “poaches” a partner from another relationship? How do those relationships tend to work out?
  • What does sex education look like around the world?

To learn more about Lucia, check out her Psychology Today blog “At First Blush” and her website SexMeetsRelationships.com

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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