Episode 498: The Hidden Ways Trauma Shows Up In Relationships
May 5, 2026 by Justin Lehmiller
“Trauma” is a word you hear everywhere today, from social media to conversations about dating and relationships. But in psychology, it has a more precise meaning, and understanding it can help explain the patterns we see in how we think, feel, and connect. In this episode, we explore how trauma shows up in our relationships and sex lives.
My guest is Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist, Associate Professor, and Director of the Couple and Family Therapy Clinic at McGill University. She is author of the books Healing Broken Bonds: A Couples Workbook for Complex Trauma and Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma: a Manual for Therapists. She also hosts the podcast Healing Broken Bonds.
Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:
- What does trauma mean in a clinical sense?
- What happens in the brain and body when someone experiences trauma?
- How does trauma show up in our intimate lives and relationships?
- Why doesn’t trauma affect everyone the same way?
- How can trauma affect sexual arousal and desire?
You can visit Heather’s website to learn more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
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