Episode 495: Why Even Happy Couples Fight (And How To Do It Right)
April 24, 2026 by Justin Lehmiller
A lot of people believe that if you’re in the “right” relationship, you shouldn’t fight. They think that conflict means something is wrong or that you’re incompatible. However conflict isn’t a failure—it’s inevitable. In today’s episode, we’re rethinking what conflict really means and how to navigate it in healthier, more constructive ways.
I am joined once again by Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-winning social psychologist, TED Speaker, and relationship expert. Her latest book, Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love, introduces the Emergent Love Model, a framework born from research with hundreds of couples across 41 countries.
Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:
- Is it true that happy couples don’t fight?
- How can conflict avoidance be an even bigger problem than frequent conflict?
- Why is it important to think about conflict as a disagreement rather than a fight?
- How can couples navigate mismatches in their conflict style?
- What does “healthy conflict” look like in practice?
Learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh at www.Sara-Nasserzadeh.com and join her online community here and follow her on Instagram here.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
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