Episode 475: How To Have More Pleasurable Sex
February 13, 2026 by Justin Lehmiller
When people think about great sex, they often picture what happens at the peak (i.e., the orgasm). But what if we stopped thinking about pleasure as a single moment and, instead viewed it as a cycle? In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the three phases of the pleasure cycle–wanting, liking, and learning–and discuss how cultivating each of them can transform your sex life.
I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole McNichols, an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole’s course, “The Diversity of Human Sexuality,” is the largest and most popular course in the university’s history with four thousand enrolled students each year. Nicole is author of the new book You Could Be Having Better Sex.
Some of the specific topics we explore include:
- How does connection to your own erotic self shape attraction to your partner?
- What happens in each phase of the pleasure cycle?
- How does modern life disrupt desire and dopamine?
- How can we leverage the power of anticipation to build more pleasure?
You can check out Nicole’s website to learn more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
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