Episode 447: Do Sex Toys Ruin Sex? Myth Vs. Fact
November 7, 2025 by Justin Lehmiller
Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you and ruin partnered sex forever? That sex toys are just for women, singles, or kinky folks? Or that if you need a toy, something must be wrong with your sex life or relationship? These are common beliefs, but they’re not grounded in reality. So let’s set the record straight.
My guest is Venus O’Hara, a pleasure educator, author, and content creator. She became Spain’s first professional sex toy tester, and since 2014 has tested and reviewed over 1,000 products from leading sexual wellness brands worldwide. She is the author of Orgasmic Manifestation and hosts the podcast, The Orgasmic Lifestyle.
Some of the specific areas we explore in this show include:
- What do you need to know if you’re worried about becoming too “dependent” on sex toys?
- How can people introduce sex toys into partnered sex without stoking insecurity?
- Are sex toys just for women and single people?
- What are some beginner-friendly sex toys worth considering?
- What should you do if you try a toy and find that it doesn’t seem to do much for you?
Learn more about Venus by checking out her website here.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
Read full bio >
