Episode 438: Should You Share Your Sexual Fantasies?
October 7, 2025 by Justin Lehmiller
What happens when people decide to share their sexual fantasies? How does it usually go? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how many people have ever shared their fantasies with a partner before, the five most common reasons that people decide to open up about them, as well as how partners usually react to fantasy disclosure.
I am joined by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmingham City University. He researches sexual fantasies and also leads the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab.
Some of the specific topics we explore include:
- Is it common for people to share their fantasies with their partners?
- What is the most common reason for sharing a sexual fantasy?
- Why do some people choose to keep their fantasies secret?
- Do partners typically respond positively or negatively when fantasies are shared?
- When is sharing your fantasies a good idea?
You can check out the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab’s website to learn more about Matthew’s work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
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