Episode 41: The Secrets of Relationship Success

July 1, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast
Sex and Psychology Podcast
Episode 41: The Secrets of Relationship Success

It is often said that the most important decision you make in your life is who you decide to have a relationship with—yet most of us are never really taught anything about how to make this decision. As a result, we typically learn how to navigate relationships through trial and error, but there are usually a lot of errors along the way! That’s why this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast is all about boosting your relationship IQ by revealing the secrets of relationship success.

I interviewed relationship expert Dr. Gary Lewandowski. He is a Professor at Monmouth University and author of the new book Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship…and How to See Past Them.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

  • How believing in the idea of a “soul mate” holds us back from finding relationship happiness.
  • Why it’s OK—and healthy—to be a little bit selfish in your relationship.
  • How too much closeness in your relationship can push you and your partner apart.
  • Why you shouldn’t tell your partner, “if you love me, you’ll change.”
  • How going for a partner who is way more attractive than you can produce a less stable relationship.
  • Why it’s important to embrace disagreement and conflict in your relationship.
  • Why breakups usually aren’t as bad as we think they’re going to be—and how to move on after a relationship ends.

To learn more about Gary, visit his website and check out his new book Stronger Than You Think.


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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.


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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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