Episode 33: How To Keep Passion Alive

May 6, 2021 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast
Sex and Psychology Podcast
Episode 33: How To Keep Passion Alive

In long-term relationships, feelings of passion tend to be really intense in the beginning, but typically decrease over time. As a result, one of the most common questions people ask about relationships is how to get that spark back—and keep it going.

For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I spoke with Dr. Amy Muise, an Assistant Professor at York University in Toronto, Canada who studies how couples can maintain sexual desire and satisfaction over time.

We talked about the key things Amy has learned through her research, including how to keep passion alive, how to deal effectively with sexual disagreements, whether having more sex would make you happier, why cuddling after sex is good for your relationship, and so much more.

Some of the topics we cover include:

  • How can engaging in “self-expanding” activities help couples get the spark back in their relationship?

  • Why is being motivated to meet your partner’s sexual needs crucial to maintaining passion?

  • What happens when one partner consistently wants more sex than the other? How do you bridge a sexual divide like this?

  • What does it mean to “positively reject” a partner’s request for sex? How do you turn down sex in a positive way?

  • Are couples who have more sex necessarily happier than couples who have less sex?

  • How much does what you do after sex matter?

  • How often do people in relationships fantasize about ex-partners, and what does this mean for their relationships?

To learn more about Amy, visit her website here and follow her on Twitter @AmyMuise.


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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.


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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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