Episode 169: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Sex Life

February 21, 2023 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast
Sex and Psychology Podcast
Episode 169: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Sex Life

So much sex advice can be boiled down to just one thing: communication. But how exactly should you communicate about sex? And what are the things you need to communicate about? In this episode, we’re going to discuss the five “sex talks” that partners in every relationship should have. We’ll explore how to get started, tips for navigating each of these conversations, as well as what to do when a conversation about sex turns into a fight.

For today’s show, I am joined by Vanessa Marin, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy, as well as Xander Marin, a self-described “regular dude” who left a cushy career in tech once he realized it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day. They co-host the “Pillow Talks” podcast and co-authored the new book, Sex Talks: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life.

Some of the topics we discuss include:

  • How to start acknowledging sex in conversation.
  • How partners can successfully communicate about sex and build connection with one another.
  • How someone can identify their own sexual desires and share those with a partner.
  • How individuals can practice talking about pleasure so that they’re more confident when expressing their desires.
  • Why asking a partner “what’s your fantasy?” might be the wrong place to start when trying to explore new things in the bedroom.

Make sure to check out Vanessa and Xander’s website, and visit their Youtube, Instagram, and TikTok to learn more. And be sure to get a copy of Sex Talks!

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.


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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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