Episode 160: Tomorrow, Sex Will Be Good Again
January 20, 2023 by Justin Lehmiller
One of the key principles embedded in many models of sexual consent is that consent must be specific. In other words, you need to know exactly what it is that you’re saying yes to. This also means you need to know in advance what it is that you want. However, we often don’t know what we want when it comes to sex, which makes navigating this issue rather tricky for everyone, but especially for women. Consenting to that which is unknown can be highly erotic, but it can be really risky, especially when a partner’s ideas about what you might want turn out to be wrong.
My guest today is Katherine Angel, author of the internationally acclaimed book, Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again. Her previous books include Daddy Issues and Unmastered: A Book on Desire, Most Difficult to Tell. She is a Senior Lecturer in the English department and a Fellow of the Institute of Humanities and Social Sciences at Queen Mary, University of London. Some of the topics we discuss include:
- Why isn’t consent enough when it comes to having good sex?
- How do individuals navigate expressing their desires when they might not know what they want, and also when there’s a risk of being shamed or judged for sharing them?
- What does it really mean to have good sex?
- Is it a realistic goal for sex to always be good?
- A lot of sex advice comes down to “be vulnerable.” But vulnerability can be terrifying to some. So how do we navigate this?
- How does sex ed need to change to help people grapple with the complexities of sex?
Click here to learn more about Katherine.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Justin LehmillerFounder & Owner of Sex and Psychology
Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.Read full bio >