Episode 138: Navigating Attachment With Multiple Partners

October 21, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast
Sex and Psychology Podcast
Episode 138: Navigating Attachment With Multiple Partners

Attachment theory was originally based on the assumption that everyone is or wants to be monogamous; however, many people are polyamorous or otherwise engaged in consensual nonmonogamy. So how does attachment work when you have more than one partner? Can you have secure attachments with several partners at the same time? Let’s talk about it!

I am joined once again by Jessica Fern, a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and NonMonomgamy. She is also the author of the all-new Polysecure Workbook. Some of the topics we discuss include:

  • Is monogamy really a prerequisite for developing secure attachment?
  • Do you have to be securely attached in order to be happy?
  • How can opening up a relationship change our attachment patterns, for better or for worse?
  • Why it’s important to be securely attached to yourself.
  • How to build more secure attachments.
  • What to do when you and your partner(s) have different attachment styles.
  • How you can tell when you’ve reached the saturation point for attachment-based relationships in your own life.

To learn more about Jessica, visit jessicafern.com and be sure to check out Polysecure and the new Polysecure Workbook.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.


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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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