Episode 130: Change Your Mind, Change Your Sex Life

September 23, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast
Sex and Psychology Podcast
Episode 130: Change Your Mind, Change Your Sex Life

Your brain truly is your biggest sex organ, which means that if you want to have more–and better–sex, the key is really to make sure that you’re in the right headspace. However, this is something that a lot of us struggle with. We’re just not in the right place mentally in order for desire to set in, or to let go and become fully immersed in pleasure. We’re too distracted. We’re too stressed. We’re constantly thinking about our own insecurities. But this doesn’t have to be the case. So let’s talk about how to change your mind so that you can change your sex life for the better.

My guest today is Dr. Kelly Casperson, a urologist, sex educator, podcaster, and author of the new book You Are Not Broken: Stop Should-ing All Over Your Sex Life. Some of the topics we discuss include:

  • Why mindset is everything when it comes to sex.
  • Where to start when it comes to changing your sexual mindset.
  • Why it’s important to step back and analyze your own motivations for having sex. Are you usually looking to obtain something positive, or to avoid something negative?
  • Why it’s time to stop “should-ing” all over your sex life. Forget what you’re “supposed” to do; instead, do what it is that you actually want to do.
  • Why NOW is the time to start making changes.
  • How to identify your sexual “accelerators” and “brakes.”
  • How to “show up” and be more in-the-moment during sex.

To learn more about Kelly, follow @kellycaspersonmd on Instagram and check out her book You Are Not Broken.

Thanks to the Cozy Earth (cozyearth.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Their temperature regulating and moisture wicking fabric will keep you cool and comfortable all night long–any time of year. Visit cozyearth.com and get 35% off sitewide when you use my exclusive discount code: SEXANDPSYCHOLOGY

The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.


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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.


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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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