Episode 112: Uncovering Your Core Erotic Themes

July 22, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast
Sex and Psychology Podcast
Episode 112: Uncovering Your Core Erotic Themes

There are a ton of sources for sex advice out there, which is great. But too many of them suffer from the same problem: they take a one-size-fits-all approach when, in reality, different things are going to work for different people. We each have a unique sexual self, which means that if you don’t have a certain level of self-understanding, it can be difficult to know which advice to take–and which advice to leave. So that’s what we’re going to be talking about today: how to uncover your core erotic themes and increase sexual self-understanding.

My guest is sex and relationship therapist Cyndi Darnell, author of the new book, Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It: The Truth About Mismatched Libido and Rediscovering Desire. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

  • Why generic sex advice often doesn’t work.
  • How to pinpoint your own motivations for having sex.
  • How your sexual fantasies can help you to uncover your core erotic themes.
  • How to share sexual fantasies with a partner.
  • Why it’s important to step outside of our sexual comfort zone sometimes.
  • How to deal with mismatched libido in a relationship.

To learn more about Cyndi, visit her website at cyndidarnell.com, follow her on the socials @cyndi_darnell and be sure to get a copy of her new book Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) for sponsoring this episode!

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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.


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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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