Episode 103: The Laws of Attraction

June 21, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast
Sex and Psychology Podcast
Episode 103: The Laws of Attraction

Why are we attracted to some people, but not to others? The answer to this question is surprisingly complex, but research has uncovered a set of scientifically-backed principles that can pretty reliably facilitate sexual and romantic attraction. This episode will help you to better understand those “laws” of attraction, including how you can leverage them to enhance your own appeal to others.

Sexuality educator Ashley Weller returns for this show. Ashley is a professor at Chapman University who runs a podcast called What’s your Position? that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include:

  • Is attraction something that is usually instantaneous, or does it tend to grow over time?
  • We often hear that “birds of a feather flock together.” But we also hear that “opposites attract.” So which one is true? Are we attracted to similarity or differences?
  • What’s the best way to start a conversation with someone you’re attracted to? Do pick-up lines actually work?
  • Can playing hard to get make you appear more desirable?
  • How similar or different are men and women when it comes to what they want in a partner?
  • If you find yourself attracted to the “wrong” type of person, how do you break that pattern?

To learn more about Ashley, check out her podcast What’s your Position? and follow her on Instagram @whatsyourpositionpodcast

Thanks to the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.


Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Chris Sowa (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.



Post Featured Image
Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

Read full bio >