How Many Sexual Partners Have Most People Had?

One of the most common sex questions we’ve received over the years revolves around how many sexual partners people typically have. This question also pops up frequently on social media, where this number is often referred to as “body count.” 

We first answered this question on the blog nearly 10 years ago, so we figured it was time to refresh these numbers to see if anything has changed. Below, we’ll explore data from The National Survey of Family Growth (U.S.) in 2002-2019, as well as some more recent data based on young adults and some data from the U.K. 

National Survey of Family Growth: 2002 – 2019

The National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) is designed to produce national-level United States survey data about a variety of family planning topics. Data is collected through in-person interviewing and private self-assessment surveys. 

For men aged 25-44 in 2002, the median number of lifetime sexual partners (for those who had sexual experience) was 6.7. This number has decreased slightly in all surveys since and currently stands at 6.3.

Women consistently reported fewer sexual partners than men during each survey. For women aged 25-44 in 2002, the median number of lifetime sexual partners was 3.8. However, this number has consistently increased in each of the following years, and currently stands at 4.3. Below, a table replicated from the NSFG 2002-2019 data breaks this down in more detail. 

Importantly, this table only includes data for opposite-sex partners, so these numbers really only speak to heterosexual individuals. Also, it’s worth noting that these figures include partners with whom people reported having any kind of sexual contact, including oral sex and penetrative intercourse. 

Something else that’s worth calling out is that the discrepancy between men’s and women’s median number of sex partners has decreased. It’s not exactly clear why this is the case, but the gender gap appears to be shrinking somewhat.

In terms of why men consistently report more partners, many have attributed this to the sexual double-standard, which argues that women are judged more harshly than men for their sexual behaviors [1]. It may be that men are overreporting their sexual experiences while women are underreporting. Research suggests that there is some truth to this and, further, that men and women use different counting strategies when reporting on number of partners (e.g., men are more likely to ballpark the number, while women are more likely to do the math).  

Breaking the Numbers Down Further

The median only tells part of the story, of course. A median represents the 50th percentile, where exactly 50% of responses are above and 50% are below this number. Let’s break the numbers down into more granularity.

When we do this, we see a lot more variability, with some reporting much lower and others reporting much higher partner counts. Below, a table replicated from the NSFG 2015-2019 gives us a fuller picture of these statistics.

For women, the modal (most common) number of partners was 2-4 (29.2%), closely followed by 5-9 (28.6%). For men, the modal number of partners was actually 15+ (28.3%), followed by 5-9 (25.8%). 

Additional Data About Lifetime Sexual Partners

More recent data suggests that the number of sexual partners people are having may be declining, particularly among young adults. For example, according to 2021 data from the California Health Interview Survey, which looked at adults aged 18-30, most women (58.2%) reported having just one partner, with nearly half of men (45.1%) reporting the same. This is consistent with other data suggesting that young adults are having less sex than previous generations. There are many possible explanations for this, including the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic on sexual development for this age cohort. 

How does the number of partners people have in the US compare to other countries? Data from a nationally representative British survey (the NATSAL) has yielded nearly identical results, with the median number of partners for men being 6 and women being 4. 

Finally, if you’re curious about how you compare to the average number of lifetime sexual partners, we found this interactive tool on Slate that uses data from the General Social Survey to make those comparisons for you. However, we encourage you to take those results with some caution, and remember that there is no “correct” number of sexual partners for one person to have.

If you have a sex question of your own, record a voicemail at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology to have it answered on the blog or the podcast. 

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here to check out other articles on the blog and here to listen to the podcast. You can also follow us on Instagram (@JustinJLehmiller), Facebook (facebook.com/psychologyofsex), Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit (reddit.com/r/psychologyofsex) to receive updates.

References: 

 [1] Jozkowski, K. N., Marcantonio, T. L., & Hunt, M. E. (2017). College students’ sexual consent communication and perceptions of sexual double standards: A qualitative investigation. Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 49(4), 237–244. https://doi.org/10.1363/psrh.12041

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