Desire Needs Space: A Sex Therapist on Keeping Passion Alive (Video)

March 29, 2019 by Justin Lehmiller

Maintaining sexual desire is a challenge that many long-term couples face. So how do you keep the passion alive? As sex and relationship therapist Esther Perel argues, one of the keys is to give your partner space and freedom to be themselves.

Perel has observed that when people are most attracted to their partners, it’s when they see their partner thriving in their own element. This lets you see your partner in a different light—it creates a sense of “otherness” and mystery. But in order to be able to see your partner in this way, you have to put your own insecurities in check and give your partner some degree of freedom to pursue their passions and really be themselves.

To learn more, check out the full video below.

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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