Sex Ed

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Cuckolding

March 12, 2018 by Justin Lehmiller


Some people are turned on by thought of watching their partner have sex with someone else. This fantasy goes by many names, but it is often referred to as cuckolding or cuckqueaning, depending on whether the person watching is male or female. Cuckolding appears to be an increasingly common sexual interest. In fact, Google searches for it have been on the rise across the last decade. It’s also worth noting that cuckolding is consistently one of the top search terms used on the world’s most popular porn sites [1].

So what do we know about cuckolding anyway? Where does this sexual interest come from? How many people have fantasized about it before, and how many have acted on it? And when people act on cuckolding fantasies, how does it affect their relationships?

To learn the answers to these questions, check out the following three podcast interviews I recently gave on the science of cuckolding:

1.) I spoke with Dr. Jess O’Reilly in December for the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. We discussed what research in general has revealed about cuckolding desires and how someone with these fantasies might go about discussing them with a partner. You can listen to this podcast here (approximately 20 minutes).

2.) I spoke with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova in January for The Science of Sex Podcast. We talked about a recent study on cuckolding that I conducted, which focused on the nature of gay men’s cuckolding fantasies and how they compare to those of heterosexual men. We also talked about the intense alt-right backlash that greeted this study after it was covered by CNN. You can listen to this podcast here (approximately 35 minutes—the cuckolding segment begins around the 7 minute mark).

3.) I spoke with Dan Savage in February for an episode of the Savage Lovecast. We talked further about my research on cuckolding and the controversy it generated in the media. You can listen to this podcast here (approximately 15 minutes).

Happy listening!

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[1] Ogas, O., & Gaddam, S. (2011). A billion wicked thoughts. New York: Dutton.

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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