The Lies We Tell Pregnant Women (Video)

May 3, 2017 by Justin Lehmiller

“When we tell women that sex isn’t worth the risk during pregnancy, what we’re telling her is that her sexual pleasure doesn’t matter. So what we are telling her is that she in fact doesn’t matter, even though the needs of her fetus are not at odds with her own needs.” – Sofia Jawed-Wessel

As a sex educator, I’ve been asked many times whether it’s safe to have sex during pregnancy. I’ve answered this question before on the blog and, although the research is pretty clear that it’s safe to do so long as the pregnancy isn’t high risk, a lot of pregnant women who aren’t in that high-risk category are still given subtle and not-so-subtle cues that they should probably avoid sex anyway. So why is that?

As sex researcher Dr. Sofia Jawed-Wessel explains in the TEDx Talk below, it has a lot do with the fact that pregnant women come to be seen as objects and “community property” rather than people. As such, their pleasure isn’t something that is valued, and their sexual needs and wants tend to be ignored. Check out the video below to learn more.

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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