Sex Ed, Videos

Would Having Sex Every Single Day Make You Happier?

September 19, 2016 by Justin Lehmiller

Research suggests that most married folks have sex somewhere between a few times per month and a few times per week. Very few do it every single day. But let’s imagine for a second that those people who aren’t currently having daily sex tried doing it. What would happen? Would all of that extra action make them happier?

For some insight into the answer, check out the video at the end of this post in which a few couples volunteered to have sex every day for one month and document their experiences for Buzzfeed.

What you’ll discover is that all of the couples found this to be a quite difficult task and, further, that none of them planned to keep it up after the month was over. In fact, most of the couples didn’t seem to like the experience all that much because they found that, after just a couple of days, sex started to become a chore. It became something they felt like they had to do instead of something they wanted to do.

Their experiences are actually consistent with what research has found. In a scientific study involving couples who were currently having sex about 5-6 times per month, half of them were asked to double their sexual frequency over a three month period [1]. It turned out that those who attempted to have more sex were less happy at the end of the study compared to those who maintained the same sexual frequency (read more about this study here). Keep in mind that these couples weren’t even trying to have sex every day either–they were attempting to move from 5-6 times per month up to 10-12 times per month. What this means is that couples clearly don’t need to force themselves to have sex every day in order for it to start feeling like a chore.

In short, while having more sex than you’re currently having might sound great in theory, the truth is that, in practice, forcing yourselves to do it more often probably won’t make you or your partner any happier in the long run. In light of this, you’re probably better off focusing on the quality of the sex you’re having rather than obsessing over having a certain quantity of it.

Watch more videos on the science of sex here.

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[1] Loewenstein, G., Krishnamurti, T., Kopsic, J., & McDonald, D. (2015). Does increased sexual frequency enhance happiness? Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization, 116, 206-218.

Image Source: 123RF/Andriy Popov

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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