5 Relationship Lifehacks From Science

July 23, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller

In case you aren’t familiar with the term “lifehack,” it refers to any “tool or technique that makes some aspect of one’s life easier or more efficient.” Based on the frequent requests for advice I receive from readers of Sex and Psychology, our relationships are one of those areas in which there seems to be great demand for a few solid lifehacks. To that end, I’ve compiled a video playlist below of five of the most useful ones I’ve come across to date. Check it out, and hack away!

1.) Is It Lust or Love? – Terri Orbuch – What’s the difference between lust and love? Orbuch explains how you can tell them apart and describes what you can do to recreate lust in a long-term, loving relationship.

2.) The Marriage Hack – Eli Finkel – What can you do to keep your relationship healthy and strong over time? A simple intervention that takes only 21 minutes per year could potentially alter the trajectory of your relationship for the better.

3.) The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship – Esther Perel – We expect a lot from our spouses. We want them to be our passionate lovers as well as our best friends. We want them to offer us comfort and security while simultaneously offering us novelty and surprise. One of the keys to success in a long-term relationship is therefore learning how to balance all of these competing needs and desires.

4.) Rewriting the Rules – Meg Barker – We have a tendency to think that our relationships should follow a certain set of rules; however, clinging tightly to any set of rules is ultimately limiting. Our relationships stand to benefit from recognizing that no set of “rules” can tell us everything we need to know and embracing the fact that, when it comes to love, there will always be a lot of uncertainty.

5.) Breakups Don’t Have to Leave You Broken – Gary Lewandowski – Breakups are never fun, but they don’t have to be the end of the world either. For people struggling to get over a breakup, it turns out that there are several practical steps you can take to enhance your coping ability and move on faster.

Watch more videos on the science of sex and relationships here.

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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