Video: Rewriting The Rules Of Relationships

June 10, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller


“As a culture, we tend to pass on old rules of relationships, which are sometimes not helpful, sometimes even damaging. But there’s a danger that if we develop different rules to pass on, they become just as inflexible and brittle. An alternative, which I would like to pass on, is the idea of embracing uncertainty…” -Dr. Meg Barker

In this TEDx talk, psychologist Dr. Meg Barker challenges us to rethink the so-called “rules” of relationships. She argues that clinging to the old rules is indeed problematic, but that we can’t just dump them completely and come up with new rules because any set of rules will necessarily be limiting. Instead, she suggests we embrace the idea that, when it comes to relationships, there will always be a lot of uncertainty and no set of rules can tell us everything we need to know. Check out the video below for more and share your thoughts in the Comments section.

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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