Holiday Shopping Inspiration For The Sexy People In Your Life

November 23, 2015 by Justin Lehmiller


The holiday shopping season is rapidly coming to a close, but a lot of folks aren’t quite finished and some haven’t even started yet. If you’re in need of shopping inspiration for the sexy people in your life, let me make things easy for you by sharing my updated annual list of sex-themed gift ideas (mostly) inspired by science for everyone on your list, from lovers, to friends, to lucky strangers in a White Elephant or Naughty Santa gift exchange.

Suggestions for Your Partner

Instead of purchasing a gift certificate to the spa for a massage, give a more personal, “hands-on” present this year by learning some actual massage techniques that you can try out on your partner. Touch is a vital part of happy and healthy relationships because it promotes intimacy and can help relieve stress (read more about the power of touch here)–plus, massage is an easy way to add more touch to any relationship. My go-to recommendation for massage technique is MELT: Massage for Couples, an online video series taught by Australian massage therapist Denis Merkas. MELT is the perfect holiday gift because it’s the kind of present that keeps on giving all year round. And, best of all, it’s currently on sale.

Alternatively, consider surprising your partner with a book or how-to guide designed to spice up your sex life. To that end, I recommend Ian Kerner’s She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman and Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man. In both of these books, Kerner unravels the mysteries of female and male sexual pleasure in a way that is both educational and entertaining. Looking for something that isn’t aimed at a heterosexual audience? Consider The Joy of Gay Sex or The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us. Another great option is The Guide to Getting It On: A Book About the Wonders of Sex, which has information pertaining to all kinds of sexual and romantic relationships.

Some of you might consider going one step further and giving your partner a sex toy. Research has found that many women and men report that vibrator use enhances pleasure during sex. To that end, you might consider a couple’s vibrator, which is designed to provide stimulation to both partners at the same time during sexual activity. Two of the most popular such vibrators are the We-Vibe and the LELO Ida, both of which come with remote controls. Already have a vibrator? Check out some of the other best-selling sex toys from Amazon’s Sexual Wellness Store.

Suggestions for Your Sexy Friends

Everyone needs some good, all-around sex books on their shelves, right?. One classic you can’t go wrong with is Mary Roach’s Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex. It will teach you more than you ever wanted to know about the history of sex research, but it’s also just a really entertaining read.

A few recent discoveries I’ve added to my recommended reading list include Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire, The Birth of the Pill: How Four Crusaders Reinvented Sex and Launched a Revolution, and The Boundaries of Desire: A Century of Good Sex, Bad Laws, and Changing Identity.

Other great books about the science of sex that are always on my list include: Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us, The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction, and Why Is Sex Fun? The Evolution of Human Sexuality.

In the market for a book that’s a bit more fun and lighthearted? You might try Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man or Toygasms! The Insider’s Guide to Sex Toys and Techniques.

For your friends who aren’t into reading, I have other ideas. Consider getting them hooked on one of my personal favorite TV series, Masters of Sex, which is a steamy and entertaining look at the lives of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, the founders of the modern sex therapy movement. Better yet, pair it with the film Kinsey, so that the recipient can learn more about Alfred Kinsey, too, one of the most important figures in the history of sex research.

In need of other film ideas? A few other favorites (which also happen to be critically acclaimed and are based on true stories) include Dallas Buyers Club and The Sessions.

Suggestions for a White Elephant or Naughty Santa Gift Exchange

Just looking for a fun or humorous holiday sex gift? You just can’t go wrong with Pornogami: A Guide to the Ancient Art of Paper Folding for Adults. I mean, who doesn’t want to learn erotic origami?

Or how about Bi-Curious George: An Unauthorized Parody? In this book, Curious George is all grown up and he’s no longer just curious–he’s bi-curious.

Looking for a fun cookbook? I suggest 50 Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook, which contains the most seductive chicken recipes you’ll find anywhere.

If you’re searching for something a little more holiday-themed, consider some Christmas condoms. That’s right–instead of a Christmas wreath, you can give out a Christmas sheath.

And if you want to make your White Elephant exchange a teachable moment, give the gift of herpes or chlamydia (not literally, of course). You can buy plush toys that mimic the appearance of these actual microbes, which come complete with an image of the microscopic organism the toy was modeled after. Or, buy the entire set of microbes, which even comes with a plush dose of penicillin.

For more shopping ideas, check out The Sex Shop, where you can find links to luxury sex toys, a more extensive list of book and film suggestions, and more.

Happy holiday shopping!

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Written by
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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