Episode 545: A Couples’ Guide To Exploring Fetishes
October 16, 2026 by Justin Lehmiller
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Disclosing a fetish to a partner can feel incredibly vulnerable. You might worry about being judged, rejected, or misunderstood. But keeping your desires hidden can create challenges, too. So when and how should you bring up a fetish? And what happens if your partner doesn’t share your interests? In this episode, we’ll explore how to navigate fetish disclosure, respond when a partner opens up to you, and manage differences in sexual desires.
I am joined once again by Niki Davis-Fainbloom, a New York- and New Orleans-based sex educator, writer, researcher, and coach. She has facilitated hundreds of sexuality education workshops, and her writing has been featured in several major media outlets. She is the author of the new book Fetish: Smash Taboos and Celebrate What Turns You On.
Some of the specific topics we cover include:
- Why is self-acceptance important before disclosing a fetish to a partner?
- Is there a right time to disclose a fetish?
- How should you respond when a partner reveals a fetish that surprises you?
- Should you ever participate in a partner’s fetish if it doesn’t personally turn you on?
- How can partners find creative compromises when their desires don’t align?
You can check out Niki’s website to learn more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
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