Episode 532: Why Jealousy Isn’t The Problem
September 1, 2026 by Justin Lehmiller
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Jealousy is one of the most complicated—and misunderstood—emotions we experience in intimate relationships. We tend to think of jealousy as inherently unhealthy, something we should suppress, overcome, or eliminate altogether. But what if jealousy itself isn’t actually the problem? In this episode, we explore what jealousy is really trying to tell us, why attempts to get rid of it can sometimes backfire, and how we can learn to respond to it in healthier ways.
My guest is Dr. Stephanie Sigler, a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, clinical sexologist, author, educator, and founder of Evolve Your Intimacy. She specializes in helping individuals and couples navigate relationships, intimacy, attachment, trauma, and sexual wellness. She is the author of The Clinician’s Guide to Ethical Non-Monogamous Relationships, and host of the Evolve Your Intimacy Podcast.
Some of the specific topics we cover include:
- Why is jealousy so misunderstood in relationships?
- How can separating jealousy from envy or insecurity help us respond more effectively?
- How do attachment styles shape the way we experience jealousy?
- What can monogamous couples learn about jealousy from non-monogamous relationships?
- What does a healthy conversation about jealousy actually look like?
You can check Stephanie’s website and follow her on Instagram @evolve_your_intimacy to learn more.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
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