Episode 503: Why Sexual Communication Feels So Hard
May 22, 2026 by Justin Lehmiller
A lot of couples struggle to talk about sex because those conversations can feel incredibly vulnerable. And if the topic comes up at all, it’s often only when there’s a problem in the bedroom, which makes every discussion feel loaded with pressure, shame, defensiveness, or fear of rejection. In today’s episode, we’ll discuss how couples can communicate about intimacy in healthier and more productive ways.
I am joined once again by Michelle Fischler, an ASTO Certified Sex Therapist with over a decade of clinical experience. She is also the founder of GETSOME, a platform and podcast dedicated to dissolving sexual shame. Her new book is titled Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer.
Some of the specific topics we explore include:
- Why do conversations about sex feel so vulnerable?
- How can couples make talking about sex feel less high-stakes?
- How does shame complicate sexual communication?
- What mistakes do couples make when discussing intimacy problems?
- What helps partners feel safer talking about sex?
You can check out Michelle’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials at @getsome_podcast
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN.
The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
Read full bio >
