Episode 457: Gay Men Who Have Sex With Women
December 12, 2025 by Justin Lehmiller
Most people think men’s sexual orientation is pretty straightforward: if you’re gay, you only sleep with men, and if you’re straight, you only sleep with women. But things aren’t always that simple. In today’s show, we’re exploring a reality that doesn’t fit the script—gay men who are out and confident in their identity, but who sometimes sleep with women.
I am joined once again by Dr. Joe Kort, the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He is a board-certified clinical sexologist and author of multiple books, including Cracking the Erotic Code: Helping Gay Men Understand Their Fantasies.
Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:
- What are the main reasons why some gay men have sex with women?
- Why might a woman want to have sex with a gay man?
- Does your sexual behavior necessarily have to align with your sexual identity?
- Why do people sometimes engage in behaviors that don’t seem to match up with their sexual orientation?
You can visit Joe’s website to learn more about his work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
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