How Darwin Can Save Your Marriage (VIDEO)
March 11, 2013 by Justin Lehmiller
In this Big Think video, psychologist Christopher Ryan discusses how we live in a world that upholds sexual monogamy and fidelity as relationship ideals; however, this sharply conflicts with what he believes is a natural human tendency toward non-monogamy. Ryan talks about how human beings are programmed to be “titillated” by that which is new and how our need for sexual novelty goes unmet in completely monogamous relationships.
Ryan argues that modern day marriage needs to adapt to the reality that monogamous relationships may not come naturally to us and that we need to stop taking an “absolutist” approach to lifelong fidelity. In his words “sex isn’t really that important,” so if you or your partner occasionally strays, what’s the big deal?
Check out the full video below and weigh in with your comments. To learn more about Ryan’s perspective, check out his book Sex at Dawn, which I have reviewed here.
Watch more videos on the science of sex here.
Dr. Justin LehmillerFounder & Owner of Sex and Psychology
Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.Read full bio >